Crypto news

And you thought the worst was behind us, didn’t you? Oh, how naïve!

On Thursday, Anchorage Digital casually announced they can now help their institutional clients hold, send and receive both crypto and actual U.S. dollars. Seamlessly. Apparently, the whole traditional vs. digital finance thing was just… inconvenient. Like having separate drawers for socks and underwear – just makes life harder, doesn’t it? 🤷‍♀️

The price is fighting a cruel game of tug-of-war with $4,250 and $4,472, those pesky Fibonacci retracement levels that seem to always get in the way. Meanwhile, the $4,755 mark stands like the locked gate to a bullish market, waiting for someone to bring the key and set us free. If only it were that easy, right? 🙄

And what does that mean for our little friend, Bitcoin? Well, gold is now a mighty 14.5 times larger than Bitcoin’s market cap, which, let’s face it, is still a modest $2.1 trillion. 🍌💰

It is reported, with a degree of astonishment that perhaps suggests we should all be spending more time reading history books, that gold has ascended nearly 60% this year. Bitcoin, meanwhile, manages a mere 13%. A respectable increase, undoubtedly, for a digital phantom, but hardly a triumph when compared to the steady gleam of the precious metal. Analysts, those keen observers of the human condition, proclaim gold not to be overpriced. One wonders, are they implying *bitcoin* is?

So, the gilded calf of the digital age, Bitcoin, hangs by a thread, you say? Precious. It’s wobbling, trembling, like a worker dodging a foreman’s boot in the critical support zone. A ‘critical’ zone, they call it. As if it’s full of delicate flowers instead of the hopes and dreams (and often, borrowed money) of countless souls.

Enter Luke Broyles, a man who has seen more market cycles than a tea kettle on a boil. He claims BTC has been screaming “buy” each time it hit the 200 WMA. But let’s be honest-if the market were a pub, it would be the barman shouting “buy!” while the customers are still trying to find their wallets. 🧙‍♂️🌀

Stablecoins are going from “eh” to “oh wow” real quick, and so are the networks behind them. On Thursday, Oct. 16, Nasdaq-listed StableX Technologies made headlines by snatching up Chainlink (LINK) tokens as part of their grand $100 million crypto strategy. Because, clearly, if you’re gonna go big, you better go with the best. 💪

So, here’s the scoop: House of Doge and inKind, a super fancy payment platform with more than 3 million app users (that’s a lot of people ordering avocado toast), have signed an official love letter. This partnership means that Dogecoin will be the first crypto to slide its way into inKind’s massive network of eateries. You can now use your Doge to buy everything from sushi to craft beer at over 4,750 locations across the U.S. – because why not buy your meal with a coin that’s only famous for memes? 😎💰

It Involves More Cats)