This “50-week Moving Average,” a phrase which sounds suspiciously like something invented by charlatans to impress the gullible, has, it appears, been breached. A breach! As though Bitcoin were a fortress, and the market a besieging army. The consequence, Severino intones with the gravity of a prophet of doom, is that a decline to $38,000 is no longer merely a possibility, but a shadow looming over the proceedings. One wonders if Mr. Severino sells shovels.
According to the latest sources (who are clearly in the know), the deal is supposed to bring a huge influx of cash and Taiwanese tech wizards to America. These wizards will build fancy chip factories, run production lines, and-wait for it-train Americans to make chips too. Because who doesn’t want to make their own chips, eh? 🍿
Bitcoin’s recent journey has been a march through the Valley of Shadows, its price action a testament to the brutality of the markets. The extended downside move has erased structural levels like a censor redacting history. Yet, amidst the rubble, a shift stirs-a potential three-drive pattern, rare as a truthful politician, emerges. 🌱🔍 Even as November bled $3.5 billion from Bitcoin ETFs, the question lingers: is this the bottom, or merely a pause before the next flogging?
Crypto analyst Paradise_Noir, the man with the charts and the sarcasm, says the Ichimoku Cloud is putting a giant ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on Solana’s comeback attempts. And let’s face it – Solana’s gracefully losing steam, like a souffle deflating right before our eyes. Every hop back up? Just an invitation for big investors to bail ship before the next big plunge – kind of like a Titanic sequel but with more zeros and fewer sweaters. ⛴️💸
Currently, it whispers tales of seller dominance-yet there’s a faint glimmer of hope for a bullish comeback, especially if Ethereum dares to pester the $3.4k barrier. Who knew charts could be so dramatic? 🎭
Major exchanges-Coinbase, Crypto.com, Kraken-are playing along, dabbling in this new game of transparency. Will these templates make crypto clearer, or will they just sprinkle more confusion like fairy dust? Only time will tell, but don’t hold your breath! ⏳
The Drama Unfolds
According to a Nov. 26 gossip session (aka announcement), Deutsche Börse is planning to slip EURAU into its little black book of financial market infrastructure, starting with a steamy custody affair via Clearstream. And honey, this isn’t just a fling-they’re promising a full-on “integration across the entire service portfolio.” 😏
In case you missed it, the lawsuit follows a juicy twist in the ongoing Binance saga: President Donald Trump decided to pardon Binance’s founder, Changpeng Zhao (CZ). As if the largest crypto exchange by trading volume wasn’t already causing enough headaches, this move just added some serious legal fuel to the fire. 🔥
Berachain, which apparently raised a staggering $142 million with a valuation based on… hopes and dreams, is facing questions after it came to light that Brevan Howard’s Nova fund had a handy little escape hatch on its investment. Smokey the Bera – are we sure this isn’t a children’s show? 🤷♀️ – fired off a long tweetstorm insisting everything is fine, and the refund clause was purely for, like, boring regulatory reasons. Not because they secretly think the whole thing might collapse.