Category: Crypto news

Indicators are doing the cha-cha between ‘party time’ and ‘please fasten your seatbelts.’ The 50-day and 100-day EMAs at $2.20 and $2.22 are hugging XRP tighter than my aunt at a family reunion. XRP’s even got the 200-day EMA at $1.98 on speed dial for long-term support. That’s the crypto equivalent of “Call me if you need bail money!”

Flashback to 2022: The Treasury’s Office of Foreign Assets Control (OFAC) slammed Tornado Cash with sanctions, calling it a tool for money laundering. Classic move, right? Sanction first, ask questions later. But not everyone was on board with this. Critics said OFAC was acting like a kid who wasn’t allowed to have dessert—taking their frustrations out on the smart contracts that run on the blockchain. How dare they. 🍰

As the days crawl toward the address, investors—twitching like prisoners awaiting a changed guard—scan every crumb for signs that Washington, that distant and unknowable commissariat, might finally acknowledge Bitcoin not only as a denizen but as a pillar of U.S. economy. Will there be a great wall built from 1s and 0s? Will Satoshi’s invention find itself drafted into service as a strategic crypto reserve? Perhaps, if we’re lucky, Bitcoin shall be knighted the Official Coin of American Dreaming™.

In a statement that had all the drama of a slow-motion car crash, the SEC announced on Tuesday that it would be delaying its decision on Cboe BZX Exchange’s attempt to list and trade shares of the Franklin XRP Fund. What is the holdup, you ask? The commission simply “needs more time” to evaluate the filing. It was supposed to give a verdict by May 3rd but has now pushed that to June 17, 2025. Because, why rush? 😎

With the grace of a bureaucrat inflating his report, the study waves a green flag: behold, 52.4% of miners now glean electricity from wind, sun, and the nuclear whisperers who wrangle atoms (up from last year, but let’s not dwell on that). Renewables stand gallant at 42.6%, nuclear at 9.8%—each watt a hopeful sigh.
Natural gas waltzes to the front, shaking off coal’s soot, now the toast of miners at 38.2%. Coal, formerly the black stallion, limps along at 8.9%—a shadow of its sooty past. Progress? Or just a change of costume at the masquerade of energetics?

In a sentencing memorandum heavy with legalese (and, one imagines, grim sighing), the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York—represented by that hawk-eyed sentry of justice, Jay Clayton—accuses Mashinsky of cheerfully fibbing his way through years of “don’t worry, you’re safe” PR, whilst quietly heaving investor funds into schemes with all the decorum (and risk assessment) of an overcaffeinated casino tourist. As a cherry atop this debacle, he allegedly fiddled with the CEL token price like a maestro with an off-key orchestra.

Eric let this slip during a chinwag with The National as they announced their latest money-mountain: a $1 billion spectacle cooked up alongside the real estate troop, Dar Global. Apparently, this isn’t just any tower—it’s like they asked a Bond villain, “How extra can you go?” and he replied, “Hold my caviar.” 🤑

The price of Cardano’s ADA just hopped up 11% this week. In crypto years, that’s about three lunar cycles and a dog meme ago. If you’re listening to analysts—honestly, who isn’t at this point?—it could still be just warming up. Current price: $0.71. Anticipation: somewhere between cautious optimism and that moment you think you’ve lost your phone and realize it’s in your hand. 📈

James Seyffart, that ETF oracle at the Bloomberg court, hath foretold: “The great SEC will twiddle its thumbs till mid-October to issue its final word on the spot XRP ETFs.” Yet—hark!—Sir Seyffart hints that the wizards of bureaucracy may bestow their decision ere the harvest season (no guarantees, except more waiting).

James Seyffart, who studies the markets with the seriousness of a man guarding his last nickels, popped onto the X platform to put the kibosh on the hot gossip about ProShares rolling out XRP ETFs. Turns out, the ETF launch isn’t happening on April 30th—unless April 30th means ‘a day sometime later, possibly, if the sun aligns with the blockchain gods and the SEC remembers where they put their approval stamps.’ The excitement began with a regulatory filing from April 15th—yep, last week’s rumors come pre-fossilized. So lean back, polish your XRP dreams for a bit longer, and keep speculating, because that’s all you really get for now.