Crypto news

The Coinbase Premium Index, that tiresome metric comparing Bitcoin’s price on Coinbase with Binance, lingers in negative territory, according to the ever-watchful Darkfost. It reveals, with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, that institutional players and US-based investors are selling more aggressively than retail traders. Coinbase, the darling of institutions, versus Binance, the playground of the plebeian retail trader-how delightfully predictable. 🧐

Now, you might wonder what caused this sudden upward jig. Well, apparently, the folks behind Kaspa opened the very first decentralized bridge for it, which is tech-speak for “we’ve just thrown a big shiny launch party and invited everyone.” This event was so exciting that even the Twitterati (or X-ers, if that’s what we’re calling it now) started to dream about a rise to $0.16 – roughly a third of your daily coffee cost, but with a lot more potential to lose everything.

This proclamation was made during a most solemn briefing in Moscow, where the esteemed Federal Treasury chief, Roman Artyukhin, assured the assembly that the groundwork for this digital endeavor has been laid with utmost diligence. According to Mr. Artyukhin, the inaugural budget payments in this CBDC have already been processed this year, and the infrastructure shall be expanded to accommodate grander scales. 🏗️

The Australian government finally decided that perhaps, just perhaps, holding billions in crypto without rules is like leaving a toddler alone with a paint set-chaotic and dangerous. After years of cheeky wink-wink, nudge-nudge about “light-touch regulation,” it’s time to get serious. 🎨🤡

The flagship cryptocurrency is up over 4% in the past 24 hours, trading around $91,312. Meanwhile, ETH, the second fiddle in this crypto orchestra, reclaimed $3,000, 🎻 rebounding from Wednesday’s low of $2,892. It reached an intraday high of $3,067 before settling at $3,027, like a diva taking a bow. 🎀

In a tweet, or an “X post” for those claiming to be too modern for Twitter, Wynn confidently declared that Bitcoin could crash to the lofty heights of $67,000-by this weekend, or whenever he finds the time. Apparently, this price point is “lovely,” maybe because it rhymes with “belly,” or because it provides excellent support for those who enjoy buying assets at emotionally satisfying levels. Wouldn’t you love to see what’s lurking in the “support” and “buy pressure” zones? Spoiler: probably more support and buy pressure than your grandma’s crochet club.

According to a proclamation issued to the ever-credulous CryptoMoon, this marvel permits users to generate shareable payment links, supporting over 4,000 digital assets across multiple blockchains. The asset is then transformed into the receiver’s desired form, all while routing the payment through a labyrinthine system that breaks the onchain link between sender and receiver. No more prying eyes! Or so they say. 🤔🔗

On the 27th of November, as the Asian markets stirred from their slumber, SpaceX orchestrated the transfer of 1,163 Bitcoin, a sum that would make even the most jaded plutocrat blush. Arkham Intelligence, that vigilant sentinel of the blockchain, chronicled the event with clinical precision. The destination? A Coinbase Prime wallet, where the coins now repose, presumably for safekeeping. Ah, the irony of entrusting the intangible to the vaults of the digital! 🏦🔐

According to the ever-hopeful DaanCrypto, Solana’s price managed to rebound from this “demand zone” over the last two years, where buyers have been defending the price like it’s a cheap coupon for tacos. But, let’s be real-it’s still below the key volume node, like that one friend who always says they’ll show up to the party and never does.

Apparently, Vitalik is on a mission to make sure your grandma’s cat videos remain a secret. He’s all about “permissionless account creation” and “metadata privacy,” which sounds like something a spy novel would describe as “the plot.” 🕵️‍♂️ Session and SimpleX Chat, two apps you’ve probably never heard of, are now the darlings of the crypto world, thanks to Vitalik’s generous gesture. Or, as I like to call it, “throwing money at the problem.”