Crypto news

Ah, the Federal Reserve – where the status quo is as sacred as a wizard’s staff and change happens about as often as a dragon pays its taxes. 🧙♂️✨ Back in my days at the Fed, we’d chuckle that our job was to keep the financial world as steady as a dwarf’s beer barrel. Financial stability? Absolutely. Financial disruption? Perish the thought! But lo and behold, Fed Governor Chris Waller has gone and stirred the cauldron with a proposal that’s got the banking world clutching its ledgers in horror. 🧙‍♂️💸

In a plot twist that not even Douglas Adams could have predicted, ProfRippl took to X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not rename everything?) to reveal that Ripple and Stellar are working together. Apparently, the IRC’s ties to both firms were the crypto equivalent of a Tinder match. Who knew humanitarian donations could be the ultimate wingman? Ripple and IRC had previously partnered to explore using Ripple’s payment services for charitable causes, because nothing says “altruism” like blockchain. 🤑

Oh, the grand circus of crypto! That calamitous spill on October 10th, followed by a bounce so feeble it wouldn’t scare a fly, has turned bullish hearts to gelatin. One might think the market demons are hosting a masquerade ball in hell, where dreams crumble like stale bread. 🍂👻

The long-term holders (LTHs)-and bless their stubborn hearts-are like that one friend who refuses to leave the party, even as the fun dwindles to echoes. Their selling pressure is like a wet blanket, stifling any hope that Ethereum can muster the energy to regain its upward groove.

Bloomberg, that tireless chronicler of the financial cosmos, doth report that Kraken, with a flourish of its digital tentacles, hath disclosed a 114% surge in third-quarter revenue, reaching the lofty sum of $648 million. Adjusted earnings, too, have ascended to $178.6 million, a veritable phoenix rising from the ashes of last year’s modest loss. 🦑✨

Now, it seems that while these big blubbery whales were flipping about, the XRP price decided to take a dive, plummeting from a glorious high of more than $3 to a mere $2.40. Was it a case of whale-induced dizziness? Oh, you betcha! 🤪

Monday’s high of $0.0000105? More like “Mooonday’s” low, am I right? 🤣 The pullback is like a bad punchline to a crypto joke, leaving everyone wondering if October will end with a trick or a treat. 🎃

The crypto market fluctuated between key levels of support and resistance on Wednesday, with bitcoin trading at $107,800 and ether at $3,830, demonstrating indecision from traders and holders. (A financial version of “I’m fine, really!”)

Finance Minister Anton Siluanov, probably wearing his best ‘I’m serious about digital money’ face, announced the decision after a government strategy meeting that was probably filled with energetic debates and the occasional awkward silence. In a stroke of genius, the Ministry concluded that the cryptocurrency sector deserves legal status and proper legislative oversight, much like a lovable but mischievous pet that needs a bit of discipline.

Yet, amid the shadows of doubt, a flicker of hope persists-a candlelit ballroom where bullish momentum might waltz back into favor, if only the dancers (investors) recall the steps.