Category: Crypto news

According to a post made by Coinbase Institutional on X (previously Twitter, because who needs a real social media presence, right?), the exchange anticipates the XRP futures contracts to go live on April 21, 2025. Just in time for the next market crash, no doubt.

But wait! It seems Bitcoin ETFs decided to throw a dramatic hissy fit, losing an astounding $99.86 million! That’s more money than my Auntie Gertie’s entire sock collection! Investors charging around like headless chickens, full of caution! 🐓🚫

Les attaques sans clic permettent aux malfaiteurs d’accéder à vos cryptomonnaies sans aucun effort de votre part.

Today, in a move that’s baffled experts and everyday folks alike, BTC jumped an exhilarating 2.36%, adding a delightful $2,000 to its already inflated value like a party balloon on a hot day. The reason behind this sudden spike? Well, it seems that traders have taken to the crystal ball, and their prediction is as insane as it is intriguing: the Fed Reserve may just be warming up to the notion of a whopping 100 basis points interest rate cut this year! 🎉 That’s the sort of number that can make a mathematician weep with joy or confusion – or both.

During the question hour in the Rajya Sabha, Chadha, with the fervor of a man who has seen too much and understood too little, lamented the 26% tariffs imposed by the Trump administration. “India,” he declared, “has offered its unflinching loyalty and undying friendship to the US. We have done everything possible to promote and protect the interests of the US and US companies in India… But despite this, the Trump administration has levied 26% tariffs on Indian goods, which is likely to hit us by 50-100 basis points in terms of GDP loss. We will lose our competitive advantage in the global market particularly if the doors of the US markets are closed for us.”

Mark your calendars, dear speculators, for April 21, 2025, is the anticipated birthdate of this novel financial instrument, pending, of course, the benevolent approval of the regulatory powers that be. 📆

The overall cryptocurrency market capitalization, that phantom wealth built on foundations of sand, has shrunk by over 20%. A mere trifle, of course, when measured against the true cost of human folly. But Curve Finance, bless its heart, “managed to buck the trend.” To capitalize! On the increased frenzy, the feverish trading, the desperate shuffling of digital coins. Yet, the Total Value Locked (TVL), that holy grail of DeFi, sits at a paltry $1.8 billion. Down from $2.5 billion. DefiLlama, the oracle of our age, has spoken. Such “value”! Such locking! More like chickens heading to autumn! 🍂

But hold on, because futures traders are still riding the bull wave, with open interest going up and funding rates staying on the sunny side. Meanwhile, the options market is like, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” As a boatload of BTC options gets ready to expire, everyone’s waiting to see if the market’s going to play nice or throw a tantrum.

Amidst this chaos, our dear friend Bitcoin has been doing a rather impressive impression of a sturdy tree, stubbornly holding up its roots at the mighty price of $81,017 for nearly a month! It’s as if the bulls are playing a long game of tug-of-war, desperately trying to yank the price up above the magical $85,000 mark. Alas! The pesky bears have been gnashing their teeth, making things a tad tricky. But fear not! There’s a glimmer of hope! A swoop down to around $80,000 might just kickstart a jolly ol’ rally! 🎉

This announcement, a beacon of hope in a landscape oft shrouded in uncertainty, emerges against the backdrop of a protracted and labyrinthine legal struggle between XRP, Ripple, and the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). That indefatigable champion of XRP, lawyer John Deaton, hath revisited the pivotal milestones in this regulatory odyssey, laying bare the trials and tribulations XRP hath faced in its quest for legitimacy.