Category: Crypto news

Thumzup has been a Bitcoin stan since January, but now they’re branching out with six new altcoins. This could be the Trump family’s ticket to altcoin stardom. 🌟

Meanwhile, the House—normally a group who can’t even agree on free snacks—has apparently opted to just cave and rubber-stamp the GENIUS Act, instead of fighting for their own oh-so-creatively named STABLE Act (Stablecoin Transparency and Accountability for a Better Ledger Economy; bless congressional staffers and their acronym spreadsheets). Trump’s been very clear: Just sign GENIUS and stop faffing about. (Subtext: daddy needs a win.)

The move came amid a broader crypto rally that also saw Ethereum’s ether surge 6% to $2,760, its highest level in a month. Bitcoin itself was ahead 2.4% at $111,400 at press time, a performance that would make even the most stoic of investors crack a smile. 😄

The Hong Kong Monetary Authority (HKMA) is all, “Hey, we’re gonna open up applications on August 1, and we’re gonna make this city a hub for stablecoin issuance and blockchain finance.” Sounds like a plan! 📈

The partnership was sealed with a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) in the heart of Dubai, with His Highness Sheikh Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum, Chairman and Chief Executive of Emirates Airline & Group, overseeing the signing. Adnan Kazim, Deputy President and Chief Commercial Officer of Emirates, and Mohammed Al Hakim, President of Crypto.com UAE, were the key figures in this historic moment. It’s like watching the old guard embrace the new, with a wink and a nod to the future. 🕰️➡️🚀

But, alas, dear reader, do not be fooled by this sudden display of vitality. The road ahead is fraught with peril, and the specter of resistance looms large. The question, then, is: what do the on-chain metrics portend? 🤔

Grok’s praise for Hitler, source: X

Remixpoint has set a short-term goal of acquiring approximately 3,000 Bitcoins, but they’re not committing to that number just yet. They’ll be keeping a close eye on the market and adjusting their plans accordingly. Because, you know, the price of Bitcoin can be a bit… unpredictable. 🤯

BNY Mellon, a behemoth with $2 trillion in assets (yes, trillion), is now the official custodian of RLUSD. I guess it’s safe to say Ripple is getting cozy with the banking elite. And you thought crypto was all about rebellion! Turns out, it’s about making big, comfy deals with the oldest of the old-school institutions.

And then—oh, how the crypto gods snicker!—BTC soared, with the unconcern of a debutante vaulting over fences at twilight, straight into a breathless all-time high of $112,000. Cue a stage-right procession of altcoins, eager to imitate Big Brother, and in so doing, detonating a piñata of $500 million in liquidations across a multitude of unfortunate traders. (Somewhere, someone’s pet hamster is being consulted for investment advice. Again.)