Buffett Throws in the Towel: Will Berkshire Bet Big on Bitcoin After All These Years?

The old man from Omaha, our homegrown oracle marinated in Cherry Coke, has uttered the words no capitalist wanted to hear: after shepherding Berkshire Hathaway for six decades, Warren Buffett shall finally release his white-knuckled grip. This is not the gentle abdication of a demigod, but rather the passing of a weathered shoe from one foot to another, a shoe stuffed with so many dollars it threatens to burst the seams of reality itself. Meanwhile, Wall Street’s finest hold their breath, Bitcoin maximalists sharpen their memes, and somewhere, a clown takes notes for future historical documentaries. 🤡

The Warren Buffett Retirement Shocker

May 3rd – Shareholders’ jaws fell so fast they could have used airbags. The perennial billionaire, reported on Yahoo! Finance (that modern pamphlet of sorrows), calmly declared: “I am stepping down.” For more than half a century, Berkshire Hathaway was his fortress. Now he signals the drawbridge is lowering, and who gallops across? Greg Abel, Vice Chairman. Some say he learned of his new stewardship the same way one learns of snow in Siberia: suddenly, and not at all comfortably. Buffett, that sly fox, says he’ll linger in the wings, a minor player. Translation: He’s the guy at the chessboard who moves pieces with a cough.

“Should trade be a weapon?” the departing Buffett asked, squinting through the fog of the U.S.-China chess match. “Or is it just old men with too many flags?” As for picking a side—he’d sooner admit Apple stock is overpriced.

Handovers are always digested internally—easier for the stomach. Yet the shadow of Bitcoin, coiled like a serpent at the company’s gates, refuses to slither away.

Will Berkshire Hathaway Embrace Bitcoin Post Buffett Era?

The world’s most reluctant HODLer is gone. Buffett’s love affair with Bitcoin? About as passionate as Siberian winters: cold, and it ends with frostbite. Irony’s favorite snack is that he owns slices of Brazilian crypto darling Nu Bank, but regards Bitcoin as a “delusion.” (Sure, Warren, and ice cream is a salad.)

Now, with Greg Abel’s mittens on the wheel—an actual hands-on investor, so they say—there’s wild speculation. Will Berkshire spiral into crypto’s fever dream? Maybe. They’re still increasing their Nu Holdings shares, after all. Maybe Abel enjoys a little chaos for breakfast. If Donald Trump’s government keeps whispering sweet pro-crypto nothings, the dominoes could fall in amusing patterns.

Maybe even the U.S. Senate will chip in—Cynthia Lummis’s Bitcoin Bill is floating around like a loose sock in a laundromat. Stranger things have lifted regulators’ eyebrows.

Wall Street Firms Making a Pivot Already

CoinGape blared it out: Strategy snatched 15,355 BTC for $1.4 billion. All this by a company that’s not primarily in the crypto game—they just like to buy shiny things that go up and down on weekends. Elon’s Tesla, GameStop’s meme army—everyone wants a piece, or at least a TechBro opinion.

Maybe Greg Abel’s Berkshire will become the final domino, or maybe just another curious onlooker at the world’s weirdest parade. In the meantime, Buffett can retire, possibly to a cave lined with Coca-Cola cans, muttering about value stocks and regretting nothing—especially not Bitcoin. 🚀

2025-05-03 23:03

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Buffett Throws in the Towel: Will Berkshire Bet Big on Bitcoin After All These Years?

The Warren Buffett Retirement Shocker

Will Berkshire Hathaway Embrace Bitcoin Post Buffett Era?

Wall Street Firms Making a Pivot Already

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