BNB to $2000?! Seriously?! 🙄

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Okay, so Binance Coin-BNB-hit $900? Big deal. It’s been trying to get *past* $900 since… well, since I last tried to understand cryptocurrency, which was, frankly, a mistake. 🤦‍♂️ They’re calling it an “all-time high”. All-time according to *who*? Probably those people who bought it at $10.

And now? Now everyone’s suddenly obsessed with $2,000. $2,000! Like that’s a rational number. It’s just…arbitrary. You know? It skipped right over the sensible expectations. Like, wouldn’t you expect…I don’t know…$950 first? W

Then Changpeng Zhao, the guy who *started* this whole mess, decided to be “cryptic”. Cryptic! As if running a cryptocurrency exchange isn’t cryptic enough. 🤨 He just puts little eye emojis under people’s predictions. Eyes! What does that even *mean*? Is he agreeing? Is he judging? Is he having an eye twitch? Nobody knows!

👀

– CZ 🔶 BNB (@cz_binance) August 24, 2025

And they’ve got these… “price models”. Co-signed by CZ, naturally. And these models say it *might* go to $1,175…or $1,658… or, if things go *really* well (and who are we kidding? It might not!), $2,140. Like a weather forecast! “There’s a 30% chance of $2,140!” It’s absurd.

Apparently, it’s because BNB is used for transaction fees on Binance. I mean, of course it is. That makes perfect sense. It’s not just some random digital nothingness, it actually *does* something. Unlike, say, a digital Beanie Baby. Which is still probably a better investment. 🤔

Bottom line

They’re saying the trading volume is up. Well, *of course* the trading volume is up, everyone’s frantically trying to cash in before the whole thing implodes! It’s like a Black Friday sale, but for imaginary money. 💸

So, $2,000 is the new magic number. Based on…community charts and eye emojis. And the fact that Binance is…functioning. Great. Solid reasoning. I need a nap. 😴

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2025-08-24 16:12