BlackRock Slams $270M into Coinbase-Crypto’s Next ‘Biggest Mistake’? 🤡💸

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Oh great, BlackRock-because they’re the financial wizards we all trust-just took a stroll over to Coinbase and dropped $270 million in crypto like it’s Monopoly money. 🤷‍♂️ BTC and ETH now have a 50/50 chance of either crashing or being the next “I told you so” moment for my ex. According to some “on-chain” wizardry (read: people who stare at screens and call it research), this is just 2,019 BTC ($181.7M) and 29,928 ETH ($91.3M). Split into “bunches of deposits”? Of course it is. Because nothing says “institutional competence” like sending crypto in pieces like a toddler building a sandcastle. 🏖️

Ethereum? Oh, they just sent three big blocks of ETH-10k, 9,928, and another 10k-like it’s a game of crypto Jenga. Bitcoin? Same ol’, same ol’: 300 BTC chunks and a 219.392 BTC throw-in. Because why not? It’s not like anyone’s watching these wallets 24/7. 🕵️♂️

BlackRock just deposited 2,019 $BTC($181.7M) and 29,928 $ETH($91.3M) to Coinbase Prime.

– Lookonchain (@lookonchain) December 22, 2025

Coinbase Prime, the “institutional playground,” is now the place where your crypto goes to get custody, OTC trades, and existential dread. 🚨 Put money in there? Congrats! Now it’s not just a trade-it’s a potential collateralized derivative nightmare. Or maybe just a red herring. Who knows?!

The bigger picture? BlackRock’s move lines up with ETF outflows that make you wonder if anyone actually uses crypto anymore. SoSoValue’s data shows $158M net outflow last week-IBIT leading the charge with $173M gone. Weekly? Another $497M vanished. But hey, cumulative inflows are still “above $57B”! That’s… reassuring? 🤔

Bitcoin’s now at $90,298 after a wild ride from the $87k range. With flows negative and Prime deposits rising, the market’s probably just waiting for the next “tranche” to panic-sell. Because nothing says “stability” like treating crypto like a Russian roulette wheel. 🎰💥

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2025-12-22 16:54