Bitcoin’s Zero: The Most Dramatic Breakup Since Brangelina

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Mike McGlone, the soothsayer of Bloomberg Intelligence, has once again graced us with his prophecy: Bitcoin might just lose a zero. Yes, you heard it right—a zero. Not a limb, not a loved one, but a zero. Truly, the drama of the digital age. 🎭

McGlone, ever the historian, has dredged up the Nasdaq Composite’s glory days of 2000, when it peaked at 5,000 just before the dot-com bubble burst. He seems to be drawing a parallel between that and Bitcoin’s audacious climb to $100,000. Because, of course, history repeats itself—especially when it’s convenient for analysts. 📈

He also reminds us that Bitcoin was born during the stock market’s rock bottom after the global financial crisis. How poetic. Bitcoin, the phoenix rising from the ashes of Wall Street’s folly. 🐦🔥

According to McGlone, Bitcoin has led “one of the greatest risk-asset rallies in history.” One might argue it’s also led one of the greatest debates in history—is it a risk asset, a safe haven, or just a glorified digital tulip? 🌷

Speaking of risk assets, McGlone seems to think they’ve hit the peak of the speculative cycle. Because, naturally, he has a crystal ball. 🔮

Is Bitcoin a Risk Asset? Or Just a Drama Queen?

Interestingly, Bitcoin decided to defy expectations earlier this week by holding steady while the U.S. stock market took a nosedive. The Nasdaq-100 collapsed by over 6%, but Bitcoin? Oh, it just lounged there, flat as a pancake, despite being labeled a “risk-on asset.” How very rebellious of it. 🥞

The U.S. stock market lost a staggering $6.6 trillion in two days, thanks to global economic uncertainty and tariffs. McGlone, ever the optimist, believes the market went up “too much” and now has a “worthy catalyst” for a prolonged drawdown. Because, of course, the market needed his permission to correct itself. 📉

Meanwhile, gold, Bitcoin’s shiny rival, also took a tumble. If Bitcoin continues to decouple from stocks, the “safe haven” camp might just win the argument. Or, you know, it might just confuse everyone even more. 🤷‍♂️

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2025-04-06 12:26