Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Why $91K Is Just a Speed Bump on the Way to $100K 🚀💰

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  • Despite the top Bitcoin hoarders gobbling up coin like Augustus Gloop at a chocolate river, the short-term charts are pulling a sour face.
  • Buckle your seatbelts, kids—things are about to get bumpier than James’ journey in that giant peach, thanks to a limp U.S. dollar and the infamous FOMC Statement lurking around the corner.

Picture it: The week ends with Bitcoin (BTC) closing its latest chapter with an upside-down hammer candlestick—more a whack on the noggin than a golden ticket. Bitcoin looked a bit sheepish, daring to sneak just below $94k (but who’s counting?) after the crypto market as a whole tripped over its own shoelaces, shedding 3 percent and tumbling to a measly $3.04 trillion. Like that’s not pocket change.

A peek behind the curtain (market data, if you must know), and what do we see? Bitcoin doing a 1.2% swan dive in the last 24 hours, trading at a respectable $94,195 on a dull Monday, May 5. North Americans were still awake—mostly because their portfolios kept pinging alerts.

Bitcoin Whales: To Buy or Not to Buy?

Now, before the FOMC tries to dazzle us with interest rates and frown-inducing statements, the big-money whales (think Mr. Willy Wonka, but with less charm and more spreadsheets) are in a split mood. Sure, the die-hard Bitcoin maximalists—led by Strategy (no golden ticket, just lots of coins) and Semler Scientific (possibly run by Oompa-Loompas)—have zero chill and keep scooping up Bitcoin as if they’ll run out of flavor next week.

For the scoreboard: Strategy announced a new loot of 1,895 BTCs, hoarding a gobsmacking 555,450 coins. (Their mattress must be enormous.) Meanwhile, Semler Scientific popped in with a sweet batch of 167 BTCs, making their stash 3,634 coins strong and landing them a shiny new badge as the fourth-biggest Bitcoin treasury in America. Let’s hope they don’t lose their wallets in the laundry.

Elsewhere in Wonka-land, CoinShares reports $1.8 billion poured into Bitcoin investment products last week. The fountains are overflowing! Or are they?

Just as quickly, the party poopers at IntoTheBlock note that big transaction volume on the Bitcoin blockchain dropped by $139 billion in seven days—a bit like having your chocolate river rerouted for maintenance. Disappointing, but nobody is melting yet.

BTC’s Midterm Madness

Since April 9—when U.S. President Donald Trump tried his hand at market wizardry and declared it a fabulous time to buy—Bitcoin has hopped up an astonishing 18%. But alas, after a courageous skirmish with the $96.5k resistance/support fortress, the price lost its pep (someone fetch the snozzberries).

Zooming in with all the precision of Mike Teavee, the two-hour chart says the BTC price has tripped over its own logarithmic trendline. With the MACD line slipping below the zero line (honestly, who names these things?), the short-term seems as cheery as a giant peach before the seagulls arrived. But fear not: our beloved BTC looks ready to revisit its old pal, the $91k support zone, before taking a flying elevator up toward $100k. If that doesn’t sound like a Roald Dahl plot twist, I don’t know what does.

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2025-05-05 20:56