Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Trump vs. China – Who Will Survive? 🎢💰

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In the grand theater of the Trade War, a tempest brews, sending ripples through the cryptocurrency cosmos. Bitcoin, that capricious creature, danced with exuberance, only to plummet back to earth with a thud that echoed through the digital valleys.

Ah, but what a jest it was! A rumor, as fleeting as a summer breeze, was swiftly cast aside, leaving behind a trail of confusion.

*THE WHITE HOUSE, IN A FIT OF AMNESIA, CLAIMS “UNAWARE” OF A 90-DAY PAUSE RUMOR, A MYSTERY BORN OF ADVISOR HASSETT’S MOUTH.

WHITE HOUSE ADVISORS SPEAK IN RIDDLES, WHILE THE WHITE HOUSE PLAYS DUMB.

WE NEED ADULTS IN THE WHITE HOUSE, OR AT LEAST SOMEONE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR! 😂

— GURGAVIN (@gurgavin) April 7, 2025

What was this report, you ask? A whisper of a 90-day delay in tariffs, a notion that danced in the minds of many, only to be crushed under the weight of reality. Remember, dear reader, how President Trump, with a flourish, imposed a 10% tax on all, while China, the EU, and a few others received a more generous slice of the pie.

But lo! Washington, in its infinite wisdom, decided to escalate the drama. Trump, with a flourish of his pen, threatened China with an additional 50% tax, should they not retract their own 34% tariff—a tit-for-tat that could make a game of chess look like child’s play.

Thus, the total tariffs against the Asian giant ballooned to a staggering 104%, a figure that would make even the most stoic economist weep.

Bitcoin, ever the drama queen, reacted with a flurry of price swings. After a heart-stopping drop to $75,000, it soared to a dizzying $81,000, only to be yanked back down below $79,000 by the harsh hand of reality.

Wall Street, not to be outdone, mirrored this chaos, with prices tumbling faster than a cat off a hot tin roof. The past few trading days have been a veritable rollercoaster of pain, with the S&P 500 down over 11% since Wednesday. Buckle up, folks! 🎢

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2025-04-07 19:06