Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Citi Says Hold Your Horses, Darlings! 🐎💸

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Markets

What to know, dear reader:

  • While the quaint spat between the U.S. and China sent the crypto lemmings tumbling off their leveraged cliffs last week, Citigroup assures us that the ETF inflows remain as steady as a baronet’s afternoon tea. 🍵 Apparently, it’s the nouveau riche, less-leveraged investors keeping the ship afloat. How darling of them.
  • The bank, in its infinite wisdom, clings to its year-end prophecies: $133,000 for bitcoin and $4,500 for ether. One can only hope they’ve consulted their crystal balls properly this time. 🔮

Ah, the great crypto circus! A wave of leveraged long liquidations has laid bare bitcoin’s equity sensitivity, or so says the august Citigroup. How very revealing, like a debutante’s first scandal. 💎

The bank, with a straight face, attributes the recent futures selloff to the worsening U.S.-China trade tensions. How quaint! As if the crypto markets needed an excuse to behave like a tipsy guest at a society ball. 🥂

Both crypto and stock markets, bless their little hearts, have since recovered some of their lost dignity. Bitcoin, the prima donna of the financial world, was trading around $111,700 at the time of this missive.

Friday’s flash crash was a spectacle to behold, darlings! Over $500 billion in value vanished faster than a socialite’s reputation, and nearly $20 billion in liquidations followed suit. Bitcoin, ever the drama queen, plummeted 13% in an hour before finding its footing near $102,000. What a performance! 🎭

Citi, ever the optimist, insists that ETF inflows remain resilient, thanks to the fresh-faced, less-leveraged investors. How charming! They don’t expect these liquidations to dampen demand, which is just as well, since the crypto world thrives on chaos. 🌪️

Bitcoin and ether, those stubborn creatures, linger near their September levels. Citi, undeterred, maintains its 12-month targets of $181,000 for BTC and $5,400 for ETH, with year-end forecasts of $133,000 and $4,500. One can only admire their persistence, if not their accuracy. 📈

The bank concludes that sustained ETF flows support their base case, while the bear case hinges on equity market weakness. How very convenient. Let’s hope the markets don’t decide to throw another tantrum anytime soon. 🤞

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2025-10-14 15:54