Oh, Bitcoin. You didnât give us that wild, cocaine-fueled year-end rally we all secretly wanted. But according to Anthony “Pomp” Pompliano (yes, thatâs his real name), your lack of drama might actually be⊠good news? đ€·ââïž
“Given where the volatility is right now, it would be very surprising if Bitcoin suddenly decided to yeet itself off a cliff,” Pomp mused on CNBC, probably while sipping a mimosa. Because nothing says “serious financial analysis” like daytime TV.
He then gently patted Bitcoin holders on the head like a disappointed but loving parent: “Sure, you didnât hit $250K this year, but remember – youâre still up 100% in two years! Thatâs, like, way better than a savings account!” đ
“This thing has been a monster in financial markets,” he added, presumably while Bitcoin sat in the corner quietly eating crayons.
No Epic Crash? How Boring. đ„±
Pomp pointed out that Bitcoinâs volatility has been shrinking faster than your exâs commitment – but nobody noticed because they were too busy crying over price drops.
“We didnât get the explosive top everyone expected,” he said, “but we also didnât get the soul-crushing 80% drop either!” Silver linings, people.
At press time, Bitcoin was trading at $87,436 – which is approximately 7.39% less exciting than it was on January 1st. Thanks, CoinMarketCap, for that uplifting update.
Meanwhile, Bitcoinâs hype squad – including BitMineâs Tom Lee and BitMEXâs Arthur Hayes – had promised us Lambos by Christmas. Instead, we got socks. Again.
Pomp tried to spin this as a good thing: “Less volatility means less upside excitement⊠but also less likelihood of your portfolio turning into a dumpster fire!” đ„
The Bears Are Coming (In Like, 3 Years) đ»
Not everyone shares Pompâs optimism. Veteran trader Peter Brandt looked into his crystal ball (probably a Magic 8-Ball) and predicted Bitcoin might tumble to $60K by 2026.
Fidelityâs Jurrien Timmer agreed, suggesting 2026 could be Bitcoinâs “gap year” – you know, where it travels to find itself before crashing on momâs couch at $65K.
So there you have it folks: Bitcoin might not moon tomorrow, but at least it probably wonât die? Thatâs⊠something. đđ
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2025-12-24 03:30