Bitcoin to the MOON?! 🚀

by

Markets

  • So Bitcoin decided to stop sulking and go up. Shocking. 🙄
  • Apparently, everyone’s trying to make *someone* else miserable with options. Just lovely.

BTCBTC$112,286.23◢1.30%

Right. Bitcoin (BTC). It’s… going up. Apparently. Like it remembered it’s supposed to be valuable. Reached $113,000, which, honestly, feels a bit arbitrary, doesn’t it? It’s the highest it’s been since August 28th, and it made a “higher high” – whatever that means. Sounds… ambitious.

And it’s hogging more of the crypto market, too. Now nearly 59% dominance. Someone’s getting greedy. All those whales who were flirting with Ether? Apparently, Bitcoin’s got a better personality, or something. Who knew?

Max pain-led bounce? (Seriously?)

So, here’s where it gets *fun*. Everyone’s been playing this game called ‘max pain’ – basically, trying to make options traders cry. $3.28 billion worth of options expired, and the price just *happened* to land right where it hurt the most. Coincidence? I think not. 😈 Institutions, bless their hearts, are just meticulously inflicting financial discomfort.

It works in “traditional markets” apparently, but in crypto? Who even *knows* anymore? It’s like trying to predict what my ex will do. Pure chaos. But yeah, Bitcoin’s price did its little dance right before expiry, aligning perfectly with the pain. Almost… too perfectly. Suspiciously perfect, actually.

Now we’re all waiting for the U.S. jobs report. Because, naturally, our financial well-being hinges on the employment statistics of strangers. 🤷‍♀️

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2025-09-05 12:42