Bitcoin Shatters Boredom and Records: $112K, Liquidations, and the Spectacle of Crypto

by

Imagine, reader, a serpentine summer movement, a ballet set to the whirring nerves of the digital appetite; for weeks, Bitcoin had been performing the most tedious of waltzes, a pecuniary minuet between $105,000 and the brooding, recalcitrant $110,000—impossibly close, yet infuriatingly remote, like Proust’s madeleine on the far side of a glass case.

And then—oh, how the crypto gods snicker!—BTC soared, with the unconcern of a debutante vaulting over fences at twilight, straight into a breathless all-time high of $112,000. Cue a stage-right procession of altcoins, eager to imitate Big Brother, and in so doing, detonating a piñata of $500 million in liquidations across a multitude of unfortunate traders. (Somewhere, someone’s pet hamster is being consulted for investment advice. Again.)

A chart even Tolstoy might sigh at

Recall now, in the rearview mirror smeared with Bitcoin Pizza grease, that May 22’s exaltation (the ever-tiresome “Bitcoin Pizza Day”) proved, in Nabokovian twist, merely prologue: soon after, the price waltzed downward, tumbling to a lachrymose $98,000 as the distant thrum of the Iran-Israel conflict obligingly lent ballast to the drama.

But lo, the bulls, those incorrigible optimists in pinstriped armor, staged what the French would call a coup de théâtre. Bitcoin, shrugging off crises like a particularly aloof aristocrat, scampered up past $100,000 and—importantly—has been conspicuously absent from the five-digit class reunion for over a fortnight. New friends only in six figures.🥂

July tiptoed in: ambivalent, contemplative, like a cat considering whether boredom or the drapes offer more amusement. Just as speculators’ ennui reached a fever pitch, Bitcoin dashed expectations (along with thousands of short-sellers’ hopes) and leapfrogged the languid $110,000 barrier. $112,000 on Bitstamp—verified, notarized, and, one must imagine, triggering a conga line in certain glass-ensconced trading pits.

Dear reader, invest—or at least spectate—responsibly. The next twist may very well be written by Dostoevsky’s poker-faced cousin.

Read More

2025-07-09 23:07