Bitcoin Price Soars Over $99,000, Short-Term Holders Panic, Everyone Else Pops Champagne 🍾

Once again, that restless wanderer, Bitcoin, meanders into the drawing room of financial society, attracting every gaze (nervous, envious, besotted) back to its unpredictable self. Having plummeted, sulked, and threatened to upend supper, it now recovers with the abruptness of a Russian spring—sudden, nearly suspicious, over $99,000: a number which, to the seasoned observer, conjures up both awe and the mild headache that always follows market ebullience.

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This dance of the digits propelled droves of Bitcoin back above water, according to the steely-eyed gentlemen at Glassnode! And so, while you clutched your copy of Turgenev and gazed mournfully at yesterday’s portfolio, millions of BTC have tiptoed back into profits. Market participants now sip their tea with newfound self-assurance, although one’s butler still eyes the matter distrustfully.

The price, as announced by Glassnode’s telegram—delivered, no doubt, with all the gravitas of a rural magistrate’s daughter announcing a suitor—hit $97,900. For two interminable months, Bitcoin languished in disgrace. Now, more than 3 million BTC have quit the barren steppes of loss and settled once more in profitable provinces. The sigh of relief is audible in the salons of every would-be crypto count and countess.

What does this mean? Investor confidence, that fragile flower, blooms. Rumors swirl that perhaps, this time, the $100,000 milestone is not a cruel joke but an inevitability. And was it not ever so? “This rally will last forever!” they proclaim—until the next frost.

At present, 88% of all Bitcoin supply lolls in the sunny meadows of profitability—an improvement so acute it threatens to tip us into euphoria, possibly requiring smelling salts. Losses remain, naturally, congregating between $95,000 and $100,000, as if forming some exclusive club for belated investors. Glassnode’s charts (which have all the clarity of a Russian existentialist’s diary) show a supply profit oscillator springing back from its brooding mean, resetting expectations with only minimal public fainting.

Could a great bull charge trample us all? If most supplies remain profitable—and speculators’ hearts continue to pump like Chekhovian samovars—one might risk believing so. For now: Bitcoin frolics above $99,000, and everyone pretends not to notice their hands trembling.

Meanwhile, the Short-Termers Panic in the Drawing Room

Not all, reader, are lost in pastoral bliss. For there exists a class of investors—short-term holders—who, like fashionable Moscow aristocrats, desert the party the moment it grows too lively. Alphractal (who names these firms? Is there a Dostoevskian Random Name Generator for blockchain entities?) points out that these short-term guests are already eyeing the coat rack.

Despite returns to profitability, these holders are dumping Bitcoin with the urgency of someone escaping dinner with their in-laws. Their cost basis, $93,400, serves as sacred ground: if Bitcoin falls below it, expect a stampede for the exits. Until then, this price acts as their last line of defense—a sturdy dacha against the winds of a market correction.

At the latest count, Bitcoin sits elegantly at $99,700, up almost 4% this week. Trading volumes leap higher—by 60%!—as if the market fears missing out on the gossip. All this energy, and yet one wonders: will bitcoin’s next move be a dashing proposal or a scandalous retreat?

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2025-05-09 00:12