Bitcoin Plunges: Everyone Panics Like It’s 1929 Again

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Ah, Tuesday-the day crypto investors collectively clutched their pearls 🧐 as Bitcoin briefly tumbled below $106,000, proving once again that digital money is just as emotionally unstable as your Aunt Linda after her third margarita.

The Crypto Fear & Greed Index-because nothing says “trustworthy metric” like a scale that sounds like a bad horror movie-plummeted to a score of 21 out of 100. That’s “Extreme Fear,” or, as I like to call it, “the moment you realize you accidentally donated your life savings to a meme coin.”

Bitcoin, ever the drama queen, dipped to $105,540 before weakly crawling back to $106,500 like a hungover college student attempting brunch. CoinGecko dutifully reported the tragedy, because someone has to document the suffering.

This is the index’s lowest score since April, when markets collectively gasped at Donald Trump’s tariffs-because nothing terrifies investors more than a man who treats international trade like a reality TV negotiation.

Fear? More Like “Existential Dread”

The last time the index screamed “Extreme Fear” was October 22, when Bitcoin slipped from $110,000 to $108,000-a drop so catastrophic, you’d think someone canceled Netflix.

Since then, the index has ping-ponged between “Extreme Fear” and “Neutral,” which in crypto terms means “mildly panicked” and “pretending everything’s fine while Googling ‘how to move to Belize.’”

Analysts, those modern-day soothsayers, blame Bitcoin’s slump on institutional demand drying up (read: rich people got bored) and the Federal Reserve being about as accommodating as a DMV employee on a Monday morning.

Last week, Bitcoin ETFs hemorrhaged $800 million-because nothing says “vote of confidence” like institutional investors sprinting for the exits like it’s a fire drill.

But fear not! Crypto bulls are clinging to the hope of “Moonvember,” where Bitcoin historically surges 42% in November. Because if there’s one thing crypto loves, it’s arbitrary patterns and blind optimism. 🚀🌕

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2025-11-04 07:31