Bitcoin Hoarders: 8.3M BTC Locked Away Like Soviet Secrets! 🚀

The digital gold rush has turned into a game of hide-and-seek, with 42% of Bitcoin’s circulating supply-8.3 million coins-vanishing into the pockets of long-term holders and corporate dragons 🐉. Fidelity, the financial soothsayer, predicts this hoarding spree will continue until 2032, leaving the market thirstier than a camel in the Gobi Desert.

In a report dripping with more suspense than a Tolstoy novel, Fidelity unveiled two clans of Bitcoin hoarders: the “Diamond Hands” (who haven’t moved their coins since the Obama administration) and publicly traded companies (who treat Bitcoin like a corporate trophy 🏆). These groups, like Soviet-era bureaucrats, refuse to let go of their stash-except for one brief moment of weakness in Q2 2022.

Less liquid Bitcoin? Fewer coins on the market? Ah, the sweet scent of scarcity-like finding a fresh loaf of bread in 1980s Moscow. 🍞 Fidelity cheerfully estimates that by 2025, these groups will clutch over six million BTC (28% of all Bitcoin), turning the crypto market into a bidding war worthy of a Dostoevsky tragedy.

The Great Bitcoin Lock-Up: A Comedy of Scarcity

By 2032, Fidelity foresees 8.3 million BTC vanishing into the digital abyss-assuming wallets continue their hoarding ways like squirrels preparing for nuclear winter. Public companies, meanwhile, keep adding to their treasure chests like modern-day Scrooge McDucks.

“42% illiquid by Q2 2032,” Fidelity declares, as if announcing the next Five-Year Plan. The market shudders-what happens when the whales wake up and decide to cash out?

Whale Watching: The Billion-Dollar Question

These Bitcoin barons now sit atop $628 billion in digital gold-twice last year’s haul. But like a Soviet oligarch at a banya, the question lingers: What if they sell? 🧐

Recent whale movements suggest trouble-$12.7 billion dumped in 30 days, the biggest sell-off since the last crypto winter. Bitcoin’s price dipped 2%, proving once again that when whales sneeze, the market catches a cold. 🤧

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2025-09-16 09:41