The Smarter Web Company (Aquis: SWC), that paragon of fiscal prudence-or is it reckless abandon?-has once again dipped its toes into the murky waters of cryptocurrency. This time, they’ve scooped up an additional 45 bitcoin at the princely sum of £82,919 each (or $111,758, for those who prefer their currency with a side of stars and stripes). All in the name of their so-called “10 Year Plan,” which sounds suspiciously like something dreamed up during a long liquid lunch.
With this latest acquisition, their hoard now stands at a staggering 2,440 bitcoin, purchased at an average cost of £82,409 (roughly $111,071). The grand total spent? A mere £201,077,906. Yes, you read that correctly-two hundred million pounds sterling, give or take a few quid. And yet, the company cheerfully reports a net cash balance of £600,000 ready for further adventures in digital gold mining 🪙. One wonders if they’ll soon start accepting Monopoly money as well.
They boast, with no apparent irony, of a year-to-date BTC yield of 56,105% and a 30-day yield of 28%. Such numbers would make even the most hardened hedge fund manager weep with envy-or perhaps just laugh hysterically 😂. The London-listed web design and online marketing firm, which has been accepting bitcoin payments since 2023, insists that its treasury strategy remains focused on accumulating more bitcoin, alongside what they describe as “organic growth” and “targeted acquisitions.” Organic growth, one assumes, involves planting bitcoins in the garden and waiting for them to sprout 💰.
One can only imagine the boardroom discussions that led to this bold strategy. Perhaps over tea and biscuits, someone suggested diversifying into tulips instead, but alas, the allure of blockchain proved too strong. Ah, the march of progress! Or madness. It’s hard to tell sometimes.
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2025-08-29 10:57