Bitcoin Billionaire Buys Big, But His Stock Says “Meh” 🤷♂️

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Ah, 2025-the year when Michael Saylor’s grand Bitcoin strategy hit a few speed bumps, like a volatile fourth quarter and the financial equivalent of being uninvited to the cool kids’ MSCI index party. 🎉✨ But fear not, dear reader, for 2026 has dawned, and with it, a renewed sense of “Let’s throw money at Bitcoin and see what sticks.” 🤑

Strategy’s Latest Bitcoin Binge

According to a fresh SEC filing-because nothing says “new year, new me” like a $1.25 billion shopping spree-Strategy has kicked off 2026 by hoarding 13,627 Bitcoins at a cool $91,519 each. 🛒💸 That’s right, they’re basically the Costco of Bitcoin, but instead of bulk toilet paper, it’s digital gold. 🧻✨

How did they fund this extravaganza? Oh, just by selling 6.8 million MSTR shares and 1.2 million shares of their Series A Perpetual Preferred Stock. Because when you’re Strategy, you don’t just dip your toes in the market-you cannonball. 🏊♂️💥

This financial acrobatics pushed their total Bitcoin stash to a jaw-dropping 687,410 BTC. Their average cost? A mere $75,355 per Bitcoin. Talk about a bargain hunter’s dream. 🛍️💰

All this reinforces Strategy’s “Bitcoin or Bust” mantra, a philosophy that’s been making waves since 2020. 🌊🚀

Stock Market Blues 🎶

But here’s the kicker: while Bitcoin is strutting its stuff at $92,000, MSTR stock is having an existential crisis. After peaking at $455.90 in July 2025, it’s now languishing near $162.23. That’s a 60% nosedive, folks. The “Saylor Premium” is looking more like a discount bin special. 🏷️😬

MSTR Stock Price Chart

Yet, there’s a glimmer of hope-a 4.90% rebound, according to Google Finance. Baby steps, right? 👶👟

More Bitcoin, Because Why Not?

Strategy’s latest haul came hot on the heels of their January 5th milestone of 673,783 BTC. And just when you thought things couldn’t get more cryptic, Michael Saylor dropped a two-word bombshell on X: “Big Orange.” 🍊💥 The internet, of course, lost its mind. Was it a fruit? A sunset? Nope, just more Bitcoin dominance. 🌅🚀

“Big Orange.”

Because when you’re the undisputed heavyweight of the Bitcoin Standard era, you don’t need full sentences. 💪🤫

Final Musings (Because We Have to Wrap This Up Somehow)

  • 2025 was Strategy’s “recalibration year,” a fancy way of saying they took a breather before going HAM on Bitcoin. 🍜💪
  • Unlike ETFs, Strategy embraces volatility like a long-lost friend, absorbing price swings while hoarding Bitcoin like a digital dragon. 🐉🔥

So, what’s the moral of this story? Bitcoin is wild, stocks are moodier than a teenager, and Michael Saylor is the ultimate crypto grandpa-wise, wealthy, and slightly unpredictable. 🧓💼✨

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2026-01-13 15:08