Binance’s $5M Hunt for Rogue Crypto Wizards: Beware the Listing Sorcerers! 🧙♂️💸

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Lo and behold! The grand bazaar of cryptocurrencies, Binance, has summoned the masses with a proclamation so urgent it could make a monk sprint to his keyboard. 🏃♂️💻

In a recent edict-delivered via celestial scroll (or, more likely, a press release)-the exchange declared, “Hark! Projects seeking glory on our platform must never consort with shady intermediaries! Apply directly, lest ye fall prey to charlatans!” 🚨

Imagine, if you will, a troupe of self-proclaimed “listing agents” prancing about, promising to conjure listings in exchange for bags of digital gold. Binance, ever the stern schoolmaster, warns: “These tricksters are as trustworthy as a fox guarding a henhouse! Report them, or risk eternal blockchain shame.” 🦊🔐

Behold the Gallery of Not-So-Noble Knights

Among the accused: Central Research, a noble-sounding troupe whose X account declares them “guardians of financial wisdom.” Spoiler alert-they’re more “researchers” than guardians, if you catch my drift. 🕵️♂️📊

Then there’s BitABC, a crypto incubator that hatched some questionable schemes, and Fiona Lee, a self-proclaimed oracle of altcoins and “former A-share trader.” Her Chinese X account, no doubt, sparkles with the wisdom of a thousand moonlit trades. 🌕📈

Beware, dear reader! This list is but a drop in the ocean. Binance urges the crypto-savvy to wield their keyboards like swords and report frauds to audit@binance.com. Vigilance, or face the wrath of the blockchain! ⚔️

A Bounty Fit for a King (or at Least a Generous CEO)

“To the brave soul who exposes these villains,” Binance proclaims, “we offer a princely sum of $5 million! But choose wisely: betray us, and we shall unleash the full fury of our legal dragons!” 🐉💸

The exchange’s decree continues: “Should any rogue approach you with promises of listings in exchange for coin, flee! Or better yet, report them and fund your next crypto yacht.” 🛥️

Founded in 2017, Binance reigns as the undisputed titan of trading, handling $11 billion daily-a figure so vast it could make Scrooge McDuck blush. 🦆 Yet critics whisper of flaws in its listing process, a topic even its founder, CZ, once likened to “a circus act missing the safety net.” 🤪

In a moment of poetic honesty, CZ mused on X: “Our listings are a comedy of errors. Tokens soar on DEXes like firework frogs, only to crash on CEXs like a poorly coded smart contract.” 🐸💥

As for CryptoMoon’s attempts to grill Binance on past scandals? Crickets. 🗣️🦗 Perhaps the exchange is too busy hunting sorcerers to chat.

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2025-12-17 17:13