Big Fish Gobbles Up Little Fish 🐟

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Ah, the never-ending tale of the big fish devouring the little fish. This time, it’s Coreweave, the behemoth, swallowing Core Scientific, the, well, not-so-behemoth. The price tag? A whopping $9 billion in an all-stock transaction. Because, you know, who needs cash when you can just trade stocks? 🤑

According to the agreement, Core Scientific stockholders will receive a meager 0.1235 shares of Coreweave Class A common stock for each share they own. But don’t worry, it’s not all bad news. Based on Coreweave’s closing price of $165.18 on July 3, 2025, this implies a value of $20.40 per Core Scientific share. That’s a 66% premium to Core Scientific’s unaffected share price on June 25. So, it’s not like they’re getting robbed blind or anything. 😊

Post-closing, Core Scientific stockholders will own less than 10% of the combined company. Because, you know, who needs control when you can just have a tiny piece of the pie? 🍰 Coreweave, on the other hand, will get to directly own Core Scientific’s infrastructure, including approximately 1.3 gigawatts of gross power capacity across U.S. data centers, plus over 1 gigawatt of potential expansion capacity. That’s a lot of juice, if you know what I mean. 💡

But wait, there’s more! Coreweave expects to eliminate more than $10 billion in cumulative future lease payments over the next 12 years. That’s like finding a $10 billion bill on the street. Who wouldn’t want that? 🤑

Coreweave CEO Michael Intrator said owning the infrastructure would enhance operational efficiency and reduce expansion risks. Because, you know, who needs risk when you can just own everything? 😂 Core Scientific CEO Adam Sullivan highlighted the combined company’s potential to accelerate artificial intelligence (AI) infrastructure availability. Because, you know, AI is the future, and we’re all just pawns in its game. 🤖

Financially, Coreweave anticipates the deal will be leverage-neutral and generate $500 million in annual cost savings by late 2027. That’s like finding a $500 million bill on the street. Who wouldn’t want that? 🤑 It also opens access to more favorable infrastructure financing. Because, you know, who doesn’t love a good loan? 📈 Coreweave noted the potential to repurpose or divest Core Scientific’s cryptocurrency mining operations. Because, you know, who needs cryptocurrency when you can just have cold, hard cash? 💸

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2025-07-07 18:57