ebaster

Last Friday, the February Non-Farm Payrolls (NFP) report dropped like a brick in a pond-a whopping -92,000 jobs, when folks were expectin’ +59,000. Unemployment climbed to 4.4%, and risk assets took a tumble faster than a drunk man on a staircase. BTC ended up hoverin’ near $70,000, down 2% on the week but still 7% above its Friday lows. Talk about a rollercoaster ride!

Coinbase, that paragon of modern commerce, has rolled out its regulated futures trading across 26 European countries, now offering crypto derivatives under a MiFID-regulated entity. Germany, France, and the Netherlands-those paragons of order-now bask in the glow of this newfound “protection.”

Contrary to the fervent hopes of the community, Shatner has declared that X Money’s connection to crypto is as tenuous as a Vulcan’s emotional restraint. “X Money is fiat, not crypto,” he quipped, a statement that has left enthusiasts both bemused and bewildered.

But don’t go thinking it’s all moonshine and fairy dust. No, dear reader. You can now trade on a “major global exchange,” where the grand products include such titans as Bitcoin, Solana, and-why not?-equity index futures, like the Mag7 + Crypto index. Oh, the sounds of it! How it rolls off the tongue like the finest caviar.

The coin’s currently loitering near $1.34-down 63% from its $3.65 high in July 2025. For context, that’s like buying a designer handbag at full price, only to resell it for the cost of two lattes. Ouch.

Bitcoin’s price is largely independent of traditional stock markets. While about 25% of its price changes can be linked to movements in equities like the S&P 500 and Nasdaq, the remaining 75% is influenced by other, unrelated factors.