Robinhood’s Bold Ethereum L2 Reveal Sparks Laughter and Scrutiny

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Act I, Scene: A bustling bourse, a plume in the hat of Fortune, and a ledger that never lies (or pretends to).

Enter Robinhood as a charming trader, with a trumpet of ambition, followed by a Chorus of Analysts, Ledger-keepers, and a sly Oracle named Chainlink.

ROBINHOOD: Good people, lend me your ears and your pockets; we present a public testnet for Robinhood Chain, a noble Arbitrum-based highway to the Ethereum ether. Behold, the oracle of fortune shall be spoken by Chainlink, that faithful soothsayer of data.

CHORUS: Aha! A stage where builders may tinker, where tokenized joys and risks alike may dance upon the wires of DeFi. What a spectacle to behold, quoth the crowd, with a bow and a ledger held high!

ROBINHOOD: The curtain rises on a realm where reliability, security, and the whispers of regulation are kept in a neat, pious row. We praiseth the chain, yet we keep a keen eye on the watchful eye of the magistrates.

Enter Johann Kerbrat, SVP and GM of Crypto and International at Robinhood, with a solemn fanfare.

KERBRAT: The testnet for Robinhood Chain lays the groundwork for an ecosystem that shall define the future of tokenized real-world assets and permit builders to sip DeFi liquidity within the Ethereum canopy. We look forward to forging alliances with our venerable infrastructure partners as we labor to bring financial services on-chain, dear audience.

Act II, The Public Testnet, or A List of the Contrivances

CHORUS: Now that the public stage is lit, developers may approach the network’s doors and deploy their contrivances with the tools of Ethereum. The testnet is bred with Arbitrum’s craft, so the familiar chimes of existing tooling may ring true. A diary of documents, published in the official portal, speaks of stress, experiments, and queries awaiting their cure before the grand mainnet’s debut.

CHORUS: The Assembly of Helpers gathers: Chainlink shall bear the oracle burden; LayerZero, TRM, Alchemy, and Allium lend their wares in the early pages of the tale-cross-border whispers, safeguards, and analytics to light the way.

KERBRAT: We thereby invite the artisans of code to test, test, and test again, under the patient gaze of auditors, who never sleep and sometimes dream in dashboards.

Act III, The Quarterly Folio: Q4 2025 Receipts

CHORUS: Behold the quarterly ledger, where revenue claims a stage, though not as generous as our innkeeper’s prophecy. A revenue of $1.28 billion arrives, yet falls short of the learned estimates, while the realm of crypto revenue wanes by a sorrowful 38% year over year.

CHORUS: Net income, that witty rogue, reaches $605 million in these months, while operating expenses march forward with a 38% swagger since yesteryear. EBITDA, the adjusted wine, sails at $761 million, missing the scholars’ $833 million dream yet rising 24% from last year.

ROBINHOOD: The books glow with cash, a shining $4.3 billion in haven; yet the wind of commerce blows with varied gusts, as we voyage deeper into the seas of blockchain finance.

Act IV, Tokenized Dreams and On-Chain Delicacies

ROBINHOOD: Our Chain seeks to cradle tokenized assets, lending and perpetual futures-an ambitious banquet where assets travel across chains with self-custody as a garnish. Convertibility and custody rest in the hands of the user, who rules his own purse and keeps a firm grip on the reins.

KERBRAT: Expect dedicated test assets, such as Stock Tokens, to provide the spice for integration and testing prior to the mainnet grand reveal. Developers shall also dip their toes with the Robinhood Wallet within the ecosystem cocoon.

GOLDFEDER: With Arbitrum’s developer-friendly forge, Robinhood Chain stands ready to help craft the next chapter of tokenization and permissionless finance. Together we forge the future of money, and perhaps a few witty remarks along the way.

Act V, Incentives: A Ball of Open Houses and Buildathons

CHORUS: A million coins of encouragement are pledged for the year 2026-Arbitrum Open House shall be a festival of openness, where builders exchange notes and perhaps brag a little about clever contracts. Four online Buildathons shall whirl in New York, Dubai, London, and Singapore; two Founder Houses shall gather in New York and London, where coffee is strong and proofs of concept even stronger.

ROBINHOOD: The public testnet is the first breath of Robinhood Chain in live air. The mainnet, like any proper act, shall arrive in due course-though the exact hour remains a riddle, a jest, a possibility to be teased by fate and fortune alike.

CHORUS: So let the developers and institutional partners begin to build, test, and scrutinize the network’s scaffolding as Robinhood deepens its dalliance with blockchain-based financial services, and the stage lights shine on this curious carnival of tokens, assets, and on-chain murmurs.

Enter stage left: a moonlit group of hopeful coders, wallets ready, and dreams of tokenized tomorrows. Exit with a bow, the curtain of commerce drawn aside, until the next act reveals what virtue or folly awaits in the ledger of the age.

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2026-02-11 08:34