Dissecting the Self song that defied everything a lead single should do

On June 9th, 2017, the band Self announced their fifth album, Ornament & Crime, would be released through El Camino Media. The announcement included standard album promotion, like pre-orders for vinyl records and other marketing efforts.

It’s unusual for an artist to release a song they don’t particularly like as the first single from an album. It’s even rarer for that single to come out more than 14 years before the rest of the album’s tracks.

It’s surprising this song became so popular on a project released so long after the fact, and how it fit with the artist’s usual style. To understand that, let’s start with the story behind the energetic alternative rock track, “Grow Up.”

A conventional rock single that grew up without its album

Musically, “Grow Up” is one of Self’s most straightforward pop-rock songs. It’s energetic and moves quickly, clocking in at 3 minutes and 21 seconds with a tempo of 140 beats per minute in standard 4/4 time. The song gently fades out at the very end.

The song is clearly designed for radio play, featuring an introductory instrumental section for DJs, two verses with pre-choruses, three big, singalong choruses, and a guitar solo. This straightforward format is a departure from the quirky sound of the album Gizmodgery, and instead draws influence from the alternative rock music popular in the early 2000s.

It’s fitting that “Grow Up” is catchy, brief, energetic, and immediately understandable. What’s interesting is that even when aiming for a mainstream hit, Mahaffey’s songwriting still adds a layer of anxious self-reflection that you don’t usually find in typical commercially-driven songs.

Desperate pacing without losing melodic control

This song leans towards the upbeat side of power-pop, with verses that feel like a casual, driving conversation. It uses strong, quick-changing chords to create a chorus full of energetic pop-rock momentum.

The instruments in “Grow Up” create a driving, steady beat. The drums provide a solid rock foundation, and the guitars and keyboards add texture around the singer’s voice. This song is different from other tracks by the artist, as it focuses on a simple, energetic momentum rather than complex rhythms. It’s built to keep moving quickly and powerfully.

The poem works so well because it combines a fast pace with a lot of detail. Mahaffey quickly moves between topics like TV, personal growth, fate, and love, but the rhythm of the lines keeps everything from feeling chaotic. This creates a sense of a narrator relentlessly pursuing a thought, with the background details building to a fever pitch.

Romantic delusion disguised as self-improvement

The song “Grow Up” starts with the singer listing what he isn’t and what he hopes to be. He’s not a doctor, he spends a lot of time watching TV, and he talks about getting in shape and maybe painting. These are surface-level goals – the kind of changes people talk about instead of actually making.

This is the core idea behind the song. The singer believes he can act mature when necessary, seeing it as something he can simply put on like an outfit. His approach to creating a life, rather than carefully building one, is similar to what the band They Might Be Giants did later in their song “All the Lazy Boyfriends” – a band that Self has often credited as an influence.

The song takes a troubling turn in the second verse. The mention of calling the police shows this isn’t playful pursuit, but rather obsessive behavior bordering on a disconnect from reality. Instead of recognizing his actions, he tries to understand women by analyzing pop culture, specifically Sex and the City, as if a TV show could explain how they think.

Overarching insecurities laid out over matching tones

The song’s chorus, featuring the title phrase “As soon as I grow up,” feels both genuine and a little sad. While it initially sounds optimistic, the rest of the lyrics create a sense of uncertainty. The song’s quick pace perfectly matches this feeling of being stuck – unsure if growing up will ever actually happen.

The narrator’s constant justifications suggest they’re avoiding looking inward. The song builds and builds, yet the character is stuck in a loop – repeatedly reaching out, questioning, and making promises, but getting nowhere.

“Grow Up” provides a burst of energy towards the end of Ornament & Crime, driven by a powerful guitar sound. The song incorporates vintage keyboard tones, preventing it from sounding like typical early 2000s rock, and features vocal harmonies that showcase Mahaffey’s talent for creating rich, layered pop arrangements.

A detour that became a lead single

So, looking back at how this song came together, it was actually pretty ahead of schedule. I remember Self had a bunch of tracks planned for those sessions in July 2002 – “Insecure Sober”, “No One Knows You”, “Hellbent”, and “The Pounding Truth”. But he decided to put “The Pounding Truth” on hold for a couple of months and record “Grow Up” right away instead. It felt like things were changing quickly, but in a good way!

The band released behind-the-scenes footage of the song’s creation, showing how they layered vocal harmonies like The Beach Boys. The video also featured keyboardist Chris James playing the organ and a striking piano performance lit by candlelight.

DreamWorks initially announced that Ornament & Crime would be released on June 3, 2003. However, the release date was pushed back several times into 2004. As a compromise, they released the single “Grow Up” around the originally planned date. The album’s artwork was later created by Azarath, one of the band’s graphic designers.

A throwaway favorite as the album’s stand-in

After DreamWorks Records closed in 2004 and Self was dropped as a result, “Grow Up” remained the only released song from Ornament & Crime for fourteen years. Fans really liked it when it first came out, but did the band share that same enthusiasm?

It’s funny, but “Grow Up” became a single almost by accident! I read an interview with Mahaffey where someone called it a great single, and he actually said it was one of his least favorite tracks on the album. That’s why they decided to release it – because he wasn’t even that attached to it! It’s wild to think something he didn’t love became so popular with fans like me.

The song that became most associated with the album Ornament & Crime wasn’t necessarily the one frontman Matt Mahaffey considered its best. While he might not personally favor “Grow Up,” it’s become one of the most significant songs in the band’s history.

The cleanest Self single with the messiest emotional core

For a long time, this song had to stand in for a complete recording that listeners weren’t allowed to hear. It was memorable and built excitement, showed why DreamWorks saw potential, and still retained enough of the artist’s unique style to prove they hadn’t been overly polished or commercialized.

The song’s position in the music collection feels unexpected, considering how good it actually is. It’s a well-crafted, energetic track with a surprising amount of depth. The simple pop-rock sound makes even heartbroken lyrics feel powerful. The chorus takes teenage angst and turns it into something celebratory, though it doesn’t necessarily agree with that angst.

Ultimately, “Grow Up” is a catchy radio song by Self that subtly reveals a sense of inner turmoil. While not his most unusual work, it’s a prime example of Mahaffey’s ability to transform the struggles of growing up into memorable melodies. The song cycles through wanting, delaying, and even mocking maturity, yet still desperately seeking it.

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2026-05-12 15:01