Dollar’s Downfall: 2026 Awaits! 📉

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Oh, the US dollar! Once the undisputed monarch of global finance, now reduced to a trembling supplicant, according to the wise (or perhaps overly dramatic) Deutsche Bank. 🤡💸

In a most solemn interview with Bloomberg Television, George Saravelos, the grand vizier of foreign exchange, declares the dollar’s descent shall continue in 2026-though, alas, at a slower pace. “A mere crawl, my friends!” he cries, as if mourning a lost empire. 🕯️

“The dollar’s 2025 slump? The second-largest in history! A tragedy of epic proportions! 🎭” One might think the dollar’s been strangled by a rogue banana peel. 🍌

According to Saravelos, the dollar’s loss of its “high-yield” crown is a calamity. “No more golden goose! Now, Australia and Norway prance about with their shiny currencies! 🦄”

“The dollar, once the belle of the ball, now finds itself outshone by fiscal stimulus and global growth! 🌍” A tale as old as time-until the sequel arrives. 📖

“Europe’s fiscal jigs, Japan’s potential leap, and a dollar reliant on inflows? A recipe for disaster, my dear readers! 🍲” One might say the dollar’s in a pickle. 🥢

Thus, the dollar’s slow, inevitable march to the gallows-2026 awaits, with bated breath and a side of sarcasm. 🎭

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2026-01-14 17:17