Crypto’s Wild Day: To the Moon? 🚀

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Oh. My. God. So, the crypto market, like, totally decided to have a moment today. Apparently, it “rallied”. Which, in normal people terms, means it went up. A lot. Like, $3.35 trillion worth of up. Because…reasons. Cooler inflation data, apparently, and something about rules. Honestly, I just hope I haven’t missed the boat. Again. 🙄

  • Basically, everyone who bet the prices would go down got spectacularly burned – $591 million worth of burned, to be precise. Honestly, you’d think people would learn.
  • So, things are up because numbers went down. It’s… complicated. And involves the US government. Which is always a good sign. 😉

Bitcoin (BTC) actually hit $95,800! Can you even? Then it calmed down a bit, landing somewhere under $95,000. Still. A lot of money. 😵

Ethereum (ETH) was even more enthusiastic, leaping 6.7%. XRP, BNB, and Solana were also doing pretty well for themselves – between 4 and 5 percent gains. Honestly, everything was green. It was a very festive market. 🥳

Even Dogecoin (DOGE) and Cardano (ADA) got in on the act – modest gains, but gains nonetheless. Apparently, even the meme coins want a piece of the action. Who am I to judge? 🤷‍♀️

All that “short liquidating” resulted in a loss of $591 million for people who thought prices would fall. Like, ouch. These people literally had to buy back the crypto at a higher price to cover their mistakes. It’s… a lesson, I suppose. 💸

So, the whole thing about short positions is that people are basically gambling that prices will go down. When everything goes up the way it did today, they get forced to buy back, which pushes the prices up even more. It’s a vicious cycle. A very expensive cycle. 🤪

Apparently, getting past that $94,500 mark for Bitcoin was a big deal. The “crypto fear and greed index” went up 11 points to 52. Which…sounds scary, but is apparently good. Explaining it is beyond me. 🤷‍♀️

U.S. CPI data came out cooler

Right, so the U.S. CPI data. It was ‘cooler’ than expected. It’s like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, apparently. Not too hot, not too cold…just right for everyone to buy crypto. Honestly.

“Cooler” apparently means inflation isn’t getting worse as fast. Which means the government might lower interest rates. Which means people might feel more comfortable throwing money at things that don’t actually do anything. Like crypto. It’s all very logical. 🧐

Market shrugs off delay in the US CLARITY Act

Something called the CLARITY Act got delayed. But no one seems to care, because it’s still happening…eventually? It’s supposed to make everything more…clear. In the notoriously murky world of crypto, clarity is a novelty.

Apparently, this Act will decide which digital things are actual money and which are just…not. It’s like sorting Lego. Serious business.

Everyone thinks this Act will bring in all the serious grown-up money. Because apparently, they were all just waiting for someone to tell them it was okay. It’s comforting, in a way. 😌

Crypto ETF flows uplift market sentiment

And guess what? Big institutions are suddenly very interested in crypto ETFs! Because money just loves a trend. They pumped $753.7 million into the Bitcoin ETFs, and another $130 million into Ethereum ones. It’s like a feeding frenzy. 🦈

If this keeps up, well…who knows? Maybe we’ll all be retiring early. Or maybe it’ll all crash tomorrow. Honestly, it’s crypto. Anything could happen. 🤷‍♀️

Crypto’s Wild Day: To the Moon? 🚀

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2026-01-14 12:01