NYC’s Crypto Fiasco: Adams’ Token Bites Dust! 📉

Ah, New York. A city of dreams, despair, and apparently, spectacularly failed digital currencies. Our former Mayor, Eric Adams – bless his heart, and his unwavering faith in the ephemeral – once fancied himself a modern-day Midas, only with Bitcoin instead of gold. They called him the “Bitcoin Mayor,” a title that now sounds…optimistic, shall we say? 🙄

On January 12th of 2026 (a date which will live in infamy, or at least in crypto forums), he unleashed the $NYC token upon an unsuspecting populace, a grand pronouncement delivered via that modern oracle, X (formerly known as the bird site). The noble intention? A reserve wallet brimming with 70% of the tokens, earmarked for such worthwhile endeavors as battling the specters of antisemitism, anti-Americanism (a truly formidable foe!), HBCUs, and youth scholarships. A veritable cornucopia of virtue… financed by memecoins. You begin to suspect irony is dead. 💀

For a fleeting moment, it worked. The digital populace, ever susceptible to hype and the allure of quick riches, pushed the market cap to a dizzying $600 million. A veritable miracle! A financial revolution! Then, as invariably happens with such things, gravity reasserted itself. With a plummet that would make Icarus blush, the value cratered, shedding a good 80% of its illusory worth, landing at a measly $108 million. Liquidity evaporated faster than a vodka shot on a hot summer day. 🍹

The early investors – those astute individuals who sensed opportunity, or perhaps just enjoyed a good gamble – cashed out, scooping up between one and two and a half million dollars apiece. One shudders to think of the paperwork! On-chain detectives, ever vigilant, uncovered a concerning concentration of tokens in the hands of a few, raising eyebrows and muttering darkly about potential “rug pulls”. The term being rather unsubtle, if I may say so myself. And as if things weren’t chaotic enough, a swarm of utterly spurious clones materialized on the notorious Pump.fun, further muddying the waters. 🐟

And our erstwhile Mayor? Silence. Complete and utter silence. Perhaps he’s recalculating his life choices. Or, perhaps, he’s simply hoping everyone will forget. A dangerous game, that. A very dangerous game indeed. One leaves one to wonder, does anyone truly understand these… digital amusements? Or are we all merely puppets dancing to the tune of algorithms and fleeting trends? 🤔

2026-01-13 10:38

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