🤑 Marshals Gone Wild: Samourai Bitcoin Sold in Secret? 🕵️‍♂️

by

Oh, what a world! According to the hilarious folks at Bitcoin Magazine, the US Marshals Service (USMS) – those cowboys of the crypto frontier – have allegedly pulled a fast one! 🏇 Under the watchful eye of the DOJ (Department of Jokes, apparently), they’ve supposedly sold Bitcoin (BTC) confiscated from the dynamic duo, Keonne Rodriguez and William Lonergan Hill, the masterminds behind the Samourai Wallet. 🗡️💰

The Great Bitcoin Heist… or Just a Sale? 🤔

In a document so juicy it should come with a bib, titled “Asset Liquidation Agreement,” the BTC in question is either on the auction block or already sold. 🎢 Bitcoin Magazine got their hands on it, and boy, is it a doozy! The defendants, with a flourish of their quills, agreed to hand over Bitcoin worth a cool $6.3 million – a mere 57 BTC, as of November 3, 2025. 📆✨

Here’s the kicker: the Bitcoin didn’t even take a pit stop at the USMS’s custody! 🚫🚔 Nope, it went straight to Coinbase Prime, probably for a quick sale. Because who needs red tape when you’ve got crypto to unload? 🚀

Legal Shenanigans or Just a Misunderstanding? 🤪

This little maneuver raises more questions than a Mel Brooks movie! 🍿 Is the USMS playing fast and loose with Executive Order 14233? That’s the one that says “Government BTC” should be tucked away in the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, not sold like hotcakes at a yard sale. 🥞💼

If they did sell it, did they just ignore the rules? Or did they read the fine print with a magnifying glass and decide it didn’t apply? 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Either way, it’s a comedy of errors that could spark a debate hotter than a pastrami on rye! 🥪🔥

And let’s not forget: “Government BTC” is supposed to be handled with kid gloves, not tossed around like a hot potato. 🥔 But hey, rules are meant to be… interpreted? 🤷‍♂️

With this crypto circus in full swing, one thing’s for sure: the government’s handling of digital assets is about as clear as mud. 🌪️ But who doesn’t love a good scandal? 🎭

BTC Price Chart

Meanwhile, BTC is mooning like it’s got a rocket strapped to its back, hitting $94,300! 🚀 That’s a 3% jump in 24 hours and 8% in a week. Who needs marshals when you’ve got momentum like that? 💪💸

Read More

2026-01-06 00:03