Bitcoin’s Next Move: Rally or Ripple?

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So, Bitcoin. Still doing that thing it does. That sort of…sideways shuffle? Like a penguin trying to hail a cab. They say it’s “edging up,” which is a polite way of saying it’s pretending to be interesting. Could it actually do something next week? Or will it continue to exist in this weird, vaguely depressing state of being a bear flag? Honestly, at this point, I’m starting to suspect the bear is just a very committed performance artist. 🐻

Can this upside push retest the $90,000 resistance?

Apparently, if you stare at a 4-hour chart long enough, things start to look “up.” They’ve broken free of a “major ascending trendline” – which, let’s be real, sounds like something you achieve in a yoga class. But then they hit $89,000, and things got…difficult. The indicators are apparently “overbought,” which feels like a personal attack on anyone who’s ever indulged in a second donut.🍩

They think it might reach $90,500, but expect a rejection. It’s like showing up at a party you weren’t invited to. You might get in, but prepare for awkward glances and passive-aggressive small talk.

And now they’re saying an “ascending triangle” is forming. Honestly, I’m just waiting for someone to describe a descending rhombus. That sounds genuinely upsetting.

Is an ascending triangle forming?

The daily chart, still trying to tell us something. Apparently, the triangle’s potential is there, but it hinges on being “rejected” at the top. Rejection is a strong theme here. It’s like Bitcoin has a complex relationship with success. They also throw in a “bear flag” (dashed mauve, naturally), because why not complicate things further? Even if it breaks free of the triangle, it’s still stuck in the flag. It’s crypto existentialism, really. 🤔

Strong breakout of the downtrend – bulls in control for now

The weekly view is apparently “strong.” A “breakout.” And a “falling wedge pattern.” It all sounds very decisive, until you realize it depends on breaking through $93,000 to $94,000, which then becomes “major horizontal support.” It’s like building a sandcastle on quicksand. 🏖️

The indicator lines are “posturing.” Posturing! Like they’re auditioning for a role in a very boring play. A cross to the upside next week might be good for the bulls. But, and there’s always a but, this price gets “hammered down” whenever it gets ideas above its station. Whether market makers are ready to ‘let the price fly’ is the question.

They conclude, with a sort of weary optimism, that the big move will eventually be to the upside. Eventually. Which, in crypto time, could be anything from next Tuesday to the heat death of the universe.

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2026-01-02 13:49