No Predictions? VanEck Just Ghosted 2026 😱🔮

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Well, that’s that, then. The financial wizards over at VanEck – yes, those very serious people who wear suits and use words like “super-cycle” unironically – have officially admitted they don’t have a crystal ball. 🎩✨ Or perhaps they do, but it keeps showing “error 404: future not found.”

Earlier today, in a move that shocked absolutely no one with functioning eyes, the investment firm teased a tweetstorm of 10 bold predictions for 2026. 📢 We leaned in. We held our breath. We braced for revelation. And then… 🥁

“No predictions for 2026. Good luck out there!”

Boom. Mic drop. Exit, stage left. No charts, no spreadsheets, no confident nods at Bloomberg terminals. Just a digital shrug and a “you’re on your own, mate.”

The Expectations vs. The Reality (Or: How to Miss by 90,000 Dollars)

Last year, VanEck was feeling frisky. They predicted a “super-cycle” so powerful it could probably charge your phone just by existing. 🚀 Bitcoin? $180,000, easy. Ethereum? $6,000, because why not? Solana? $500, and maybe a free NFT just for showing up.

Fast forward to December 2025. The “Q4 rally” turned out to be the financial equivalent of a “we’re not breaking up” text sent at 2 a.m. Bitcoin is surfing around $86,000 – impressive, sure, but only if you ignore the part where it’s less than half the promised glory. 🐳📉

Ethereum? Trying its best to stay above $3,000 like a student clinging to a passing grade. Solana? Closer to $130 than $500, which is still high if you’re pricing sandwiches on the blockchain.

And let’s talk about timing. VanEck called for a “medium-term peak in Q1” – which… fine, fair/whatever – followed by “new highs in Q4.” Instead, Q4 delivered a correction so hard it gave investors emotional whiplash. 🙃📉💼

So, why no 2026 forecast? Simple. After promising a crypto-powered jetpack to the moon, they’re not keen to hand out a second set of directions while still explaining why the first rocket landed in a duck pond. 🛸🦆

Credibility, like underwear, is hard to restore once it’s been compromised in public. 🩲🔥

Hence: silence. Not wisdom. Not humility. Just the quiet desperation of someone realizing they left last year’s predictions in the group chat.

So yes – no 2026 predictions from VanEck.

Just a cheerful “good luck,” and the faint smell of burnt hype. 🌬️🔥

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2025-12-17 10:50