Juventus Snubs Tether’s Gold, Fans Cry, Stocks Laugh! 😂💰

by

Oh, the Follies of the Rich and the Football-Obsessed! 🏟️✨

  • Behold! The noble Juventus shares leap like a striker past a sluggish defender, soaring 14% after the Agnelli clan, with noses held high, spurned Tether’s €1.1 billion overture. 🤑
  • Tether, already a modest 11.5% owner, offered a princely €2.66 per share for Exor’s 65.4% treasure. Yet, the Agnellis, ever the guardians of their legacy, cried, “Non, merci!” 🛡️
  • Alas, the club falters on the field, its coffers groaning under the weight of ambition, yet the family clings to control like a child to a favorite toy. 🤡

According to the jesters at Bloomberg, the Agnellis, in a weekend of grand deliberation, rejected Tether’s proposal with a unanimous wave of the hand. Exor, their mighty holding company, declared, “We shall not part with our Juventus shares, not to Tether, nor to any other suitor, no matter how deep their pockets!” 🏰

Yet, the market, ever fickle, sent Juventus shares skyward by 14% on Monday, reaching €2.51. Ah, the whims of investors, who see gold where others see folly! 📈

Juventus Stock Price Chart

Tether’s Grand Design and the Agnellis’ Stubborn Hearts

Tether, the stablecoin titan, has been creeping into Juventus’ halls like a courtier with grand ambitions. In April, they secured an 11.5% stake, making Juventus the first European football club to welcome a crypto suitor into its inner circle. 🪙

Tether’s Chairman Giancarlo Devasini and CEO Paolo Ardoino, both Turin natives and lifelong Juventus devotees, proclaimed, “We shall guide this club into the modern age!” In October, Ardoino quipped, “The management still thinks it’s the 1980s-a quaint notion in today’s global arena.” 🌍

Struggles on the Pitch and the Weight of Gold

Tether’s offer arrives as Juventus, ever the proud warrior, spends lavishly to maintain its European stature, yet stumbles on the field. Tether, ever the generous suitor, pledged €1 billion to bolster the club’s fortunes. They even placed a local orthodontist, Francesco Garino, on the board-a curious choice, indeed! 😬

Exor, meanwhile, reshapes its empire, shedding Iveco and Gedi like old garments. CEO John Elkann, in a dramatic video, declared, “Juventus has been our family’s jewel for 102 years. Four generations have nurtured it, through triumphs and trials.” Their net worth, he boasted, has grown from €11 billion to over €36 billion in a decade. 🏆

While Juventus stocks danced, the club’s fan token (JUV) wept, falling 8.9% below $0.72 on Monday, according to the chroniclers at CoinMarketCap. Ah, the cruel whims of fate! 😢

Read More

2025-12-15 22:25