Trump’s Bitcoin Puppet Overpowers Pompliano’s ProCap – A Tale of BTC Tyranny 🐘💥

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Behold, the paradoxical ballet of greed! While Bitcoin’s price plummets like a drunkard from a cliff, the corporate titans of treasury land hoard the digital glitter with the fervor of a madman clutching a bottle of champagne. Eric Trump’s puppet, American Bitcoin, has usurped ProCap Financial-a creation of Anthony Pompliano, that modern-day Don Quixote of crypto-with a hoard of 5,044 BTC. A sum worth $443 million, or roughly the cost of 443,000 absurdly expensive caviar dinners. 🐟💸

Since December, American Bitcoin has added 1,000 BTC to its reserves, a feat akin to a squirrel amassing acorns during a hurricane. ProCap, once a glimmering star in the crypto firmament, now languishes in 22nd place with a paltry 5,000 BTC. One might say the Pompliano dynasty has been reduced to a footnote in the ledger of corporate BTC madness. 📜📉

American Bitcoin, a phoenix reborn from the ashes of American Data Center, made its grand entrance via a reverse merger with Gryphon Digital Mining. A spectacle choreographed by Donald Trump’s sons, who now preside over a kingdom of ones and zeros. One wonders if the real treasure lies in the BTC or in the mere association with the former president’s name. 🐘👑

Pompliano’s ProCap, meanwhile, raised $750 million through a SPAC, a financial sleight-of-hand that would make Houdini blush. Yet here we are, watching it stumble in the shadow of a Trump-backed rival. A tale as old as time: the upstart, the legacy, and the eternal struggle for relevance. 🕰️🎭

The BTC Proxy Wars: A Farce in Five Acts

2025, dubbed Bitcoin’s “IPO moment” by Wall Street’s new-age soothsayers, has become a circus of early believers cashing in and venture capitalists grinning like Cheshire cats. Jordi Visser of 22V Research, in a podcast with Pompliano, waxed poetic about IPOs: a time when founders grow rich and limited partners sip champagne. One imagines the champagne is dyed green. 🥂🟢

The corporate BTC race has erupted into a frenzy, with the top 100 holders amassing over 1.08 million BTC. Yet the stocks of these Bitcoin darlings teeter like a drunken waltz. American Bitcoin’s shares plummeted 50% in a single day, while Michael Saylor’s Strategy tumbled 60% from its peak. A performance worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy-if Shakespeare had ever met a blockchain. 🎭⛓️

And yet, the madness continues! Strategy recently declared it acquired 10,000 BTC in a week, a feat that would make Sisyphus weep. For in the world of BTC treasuries, the only constant is chaos-and the only currency is hope. Or delusion. Or both. 🤡💣

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2025-12-15 21:01