BONK’s Fee System Implodes: DAT’s Ruthless Takeover Begins! 🦖💸

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In the shadow of digital decay, the BONK ecosystem has clawed its way to a “pinnacle” of innovation, redirecting platform fees into the gaping maw of Bonk Holdings Inc.’s Digital Asset Trust. A structural shift, they say-though one might mistake it for a particularly aggressive tax audit. 🏦👻

Bonk.fun Channels Fees Into DAT: 51% To The Abyss

In a move as surprising as a tax audit in April, Bonk.fun declared on X that half (plus a sliver) of all fees will now feed the DAT. Previously, a meager 10% trickled into its coffers. The revamp includes:

  • Reassigning the “retired” 35% buy-and-burn budget (RIP, 2023’s boldest dream)
  • Adjusting SBR and BONK rewards pools-because why not?
  • Leaving community budgets “untouched” (for now, at least) 🤭

Buy pressure? “Steady,” they insist. Sure, Jan.

This follows BNKK’s $32 million BONK binge in October, which birthed the DAT. Fresh off that success, BNKK then claimed a $30 million revenue share from Bonk.fun. A dynasty in the making-or a soap opera? 🏰🍿

BNKK: The New Lords of BONK

Mitchell Rudy, BNKK’s board director, proclaimed their 51% revenue stake a path to “structured accumulation.” 📈 His exact words: “We’re building a fortress balance sheet that secures long-term value.” Translation: “Send more BONK or the fortress crumbles.” 💸

Rudy: “Fortress balance sheet!” (Spoiler: It’s made of metaphorical cardboard.)

Bonk.fun’s $30 million July 2025 revenue? A “liquidity bonanza,” they call it. Or: proof that gamblers still love a good slot machine. 🎰

BONK Goes Mainstream: Meet the ETP (Exchange-Traded Poodle)

BONK debuted on Switzerland’s SIX Swiss Exchange via Bitcoin Capital AG. CEO Marcel Niederberger crowed: “Investors can access BONK as easily as buying a stock!” Because nothing says “mainstream” like a meme token traded alongside uranium mines. 📊🐶

CEO: “It’s simple!” (Note: It’s not. But hey, at least no crypto wallet required! 🚨)

The ETP’s fully backed, they swear. Yet BONK’s price yawned in response. A meme without a punchline? 🤷♂️

BONK Price: A Coin On The Brink (Or Just Napping?)

Trading at $0.00000974, BONK hugs its Bollinger Band like a nervous investor. RSI: 44. MACD: mildly positive. Analysts whisper of “early stabilization.” Cynics whisper: “Zzz.” 📉💤

  • Break $0.00001100 → $0.00001500 (Moon? Maybe Mars?) 🚀
  • Fall below $0.00000850 → $0.00000700 (Abyss awaits.) 🌌

With fees funneled into DAT and BNKK’s “fortress,” 2025 could be epic. Or catastrophic. Let’s place bets! 🎲

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2025-12-04 14:25