Trump’s Fed Chair Pick: Crypto Traders Lose It 🚀

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Donald Trump has just thrown the Federal Reserve into the crypto spotlight like it’s a reality TV show. And guess what? The odds of Kevin Hassett becoming the next Fed chair are now higher than your chances of winning a lottery with a 30% chance. 🎰

Trump, ever the drama queen, declared, “I already know my choice!” as if he’s casting a new season of The Apprentice. He also hinted at his shortlist, saying, “We have some surprising names and some standard ones. And we may go the standard way-because politics is just a game of dress-up.” 😏

So, what did the markets do? They panicked, of course. Contracts on “Who’s the next Fed chair?” now have Hassett at 45-47%-because nothing says “trust” like a 47% chance of a guy who’s basically a crypto investor’s dream. 💸

Bianco summed it up with his usual flair: “He wants Bessent but will take Hassett. The rest? They’re just there for the selfies.” 📸 😂

Kalshi’s social media went full news anchor: “BREAKING: Trump thinks he already knows the Fed chair. 47% chance it’s Kevin Hassett. Because why not?” 📣 🤯

Byzantine General, ever the conspiracy theorist, mapped out a Q2 scenario where “a Fed chair that listens to Trump” could mean “tariff dividends for plebs.” But then, “you never know with Trump, but man, there could be something cooking.” 🧠 🔥

Crypto traders, always on the lookout for a good ‘bullish tailwind,’ are now betting on Hassett because he’s basically the Fed’s version of a ‘yes, please’ sign. 🤷‍♀️ 🚀

Krüger, ever the alarmist, says the Fed chair race is the real deal. “It’s the next big thing, but the market is too busy panicking over the current FOMC to notice.” 😅 🧠

Crypto traders care because they’re basically the financial version of a rollercoaster-high risk, high reward. And Hassett? He’s the guy who’ll let you ride it faster. 🎢 💸

The more the Fed gets politicized, the more Bitcoin becomes the ultimate “I told you so” for those who think the system is broken. Because nothing says “trust” like a digital currency that’s not run by a bunch of old white men. 😒 🧠

For now, the Fed is still run by Powell. But the markets? They’re already betting on a future where Trump’s Fed chair is the new normal. Because nothing says “stability” like a 47% chance of chaos. 🤯 🚀


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2025-11-19 13:50