Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: From Trump’s Promises to Crypto Tears 😭💸

Well, butter my biscuit and call me disappointed! Despite the grand hoopla of the US government finally unlocking its doors, Bitcoin decided to take a nosedive that would make a circus acrobat blush. In the past 12 hours, the ol’ digital gold has plummeted to depths not seen since early May. Who knew numbers could fall faster than a politician’s approval rating? 🤡📉

Just three sunrises ago, Bitcoin was strutting its stuff above $107,000, all thanks to Trump’s grand promise of $2,000 tariff checks and his whispers of a government reopening. But, alas, the crypto king couldn’t hold its liquor-er, momentum-and tumbled back to $103,000 quicker than you can say “fake news.” 📰💨

Wednesday brought a brief rebound to $105,000, but Thursday? Thursday was the day the bears threw a party and invited Bitcoin as the piñata. The POTUS signed the reopening papers, and for a hot second, it looked like rainbows and sunshine. But then, faster than you can say “market manipulation,” Bitcoin dumped over eight grand and now wallows below $97,000. 🌧️💔

Enter Doctor Profit, the crypto Cassandra, who’s been shouting “bearish!” from the rooftops for weeks. According to this soothsayer, the worst is yet to come, with Bitcoin poised to belly flop into the $90,000 to $94,000 range. His words, not mine: #Bitcoin: First promised target of 90-94k region is about to be hit. Important to note that I wont take any profits from the short at 90-94k region! – Doctor Profit (@DrProfitCrypto) November 14, 2025. 🧙‍♂️🔮

And let’s not forget the altcoins, those poor souls who follow Bitcoin like sheep to the slaughter. AAVE, ENA, RENDER, SUI, PEPE, and LINK are all down by more than 12%. Even the bigwigs are crying into their digital wallets, with Ethereum plunging over 11% and struggling below $3,200. It’s a crypto bloodbath out there, folks. 🩸💰

The total value of liquidated positions? A cool $1.1 billion. That’s right, billion with a B. The single largest liquidation, according to CoinGlass, was a whopping $44.29 million on HTX. Ouch. Over 240,000 traders are now nursing their wounds, with longs taking the brunt of the hit at $966 million and shorts a mere $124 million. Longs, you poor, hopeful souls. 😢💸

So, there you have it, folks. Bitcoin’s wild ride from Trump’s promises to crypto tears. If you’re still holding, may your diamond hands sparkle brighter than a Twain quip. And if you’ve been liquidated? Well, there’s always next bull run. Or not. 🤷‍♂️🚀

2025-11-14 10:08

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