Gogol’s Guide to Bitcoin: Vivek Ramaswamy’s Strive Buys 1,567 BTC for $162M 🐉

by

Behold! Bitcoin, that capricious serpent of the digital realm, has once again slithered past $105,000, fueled by the US government’s latest performance of bureaucratic theater-complete with a temporary shutdown that was as thrilling as a Sunday sermon. The Federal Reserve’s rate-cut bets? Merely a tambourine in this grand circus. And oh, the institutional inflows-like a pack of wolves sniffing out a new prey: Bitcoin. Among these wolves, Vivek Ramaswamy’s Strive, a company whose name sounds like it belongs in a Russian folktale, has pounced with a $162 million bite.

In an official proclamation worthy of a czar’s decree, Strive revealed the purchase of 1,567 BTC at an average price of $103,315, swelling its hoard to 7,525 BTC. One can only imagine the clinking of virtual gold coins in their vaults, echoing like a drunken choir.

Strive’s Royal Edict:

1. SATA, now listed on Nasdaq after an IPO so oversubscribed it could’ve funded a moon colony. 🌕

2. Acquisition of 1,567 BTC for ~$162M at ~$103,315 per Bitcoin. Total holdings: 7,525 BTC. May they never meet a bear market. 🐻

3. New $ASST & $SATA investor presentation released. Spoiler: It’s all smoke and mirrors. 🎭

4. $SATA dividends expected to be ROC… because nothing says “confidence” like a Return of Capital. 🤑

– Strive (@strive) November 10, 2025

Meanwhile, Strive’s aggressive Bitcoin accumulation coincides with its SATA shares debut on Nasdaq, following an IPO so oversubscribed it could’ve been mistaken for a lottery. The company also promises dividends classified as Return of Capital-a tax-efficient marvel for crypto investors who love their paperwork more than their profits.

Founder Vivek Ramaswamy, a name that rolls off the tongue like a Russian epic, has purchased 15,625 shares of Strive’s SATA stock, swelling his holdings to 142.3 million shares. One wonders if he’s preparing for a takeover or a nap of monumental proportions. 😴

Strive’s financial backers? A veritable who’s who of billionaire eccentricity: Peter Thiel, JD Vance, and Bill Ackman. Their participation is less an endorsement and more a bet that Bitcoin will outlive their collective egos. 🎲

Adding to the bullish fervor, Michael Saylor’s Strategy, a venture that sounds like a chess club for Wall Street, has purchased 487 BTC for $49.9 million. Their total holdings? A staggering 641,692 BTC, valued at $47.54 billion. At this rate, they’ll outlive us all-and then some. 🧟

Bitcoin Price Forecast: Can BTC Hold Above $105K as Institutional Buys Surge?

Bitcoin, trading at $105,048, is currently buoyed by institutional exposure and macroeconomic liquidity that’s more of a trickle than a flood. Technical indicators suggest a 63% breakout probability-because nothing says “certainty” like a coin flip. The 12-hour chart whispers of a rally toward $111,584, but let’s not get carried away. After all, this is Bitcoin we’re talking about. 🐉

The price remains anchored around the middle band, a precarious perch that could send it tumbling into the lower Bollinger band abyss if it closes below $98,300. A fate as inevitable as taxes and bad decisions. 💸

Bitcoin (BTC) price forecast | Source: TradingView

Momentum indicators, those mystical relics of modern finance, lean bullish. The MACD histogram, a bar chart with more drama than a Shakespearean tragedy, hints at a crossover. Volume delta? A paltry +595 BTC, yet it’s enough to convince someone in a suit that “the future is bright.” Should this trend persist, Bitcoin may establish a new base above $104,000-assuming it doesn’t vanish into thin air first. 🌪️

Read More

2025-11-11 02:39