Bitcoin’s flexing its institutional investor “I’m important” muscles, while Ethereum’s left twiddling its thumbs and wondering why no one’s texting it. Spoiler: 10x Research just dropped a report suggesting shorting ETH might be the ultimate hedge against BTC’s diva antics. Because nothing says “love” like betting against your ex’s new side hustle. 💔
According to the report, Bitcoin’s the golden child of treasuries, while Ethereum’s stuck in a “structural weaknesses” phase-probably from trying too hard to be the next big thing. The analysts claim Ethereum’s “digital asset treasury” vibes have led to a classic case of institutional investors hoarding ETH at cost and then selling it to retail at a markup. Sounds like a pyramid scheme masquerading as a business model. 🤡
BitMine, the poster child of this chaos, allegedly let big players buy ETH cheap and flip it to clueless retail investors for profit. A feedback loop so smooth it could make a rollercoaster blush. But now, with PIPE disclosures being as clear as mud and capital flows more stable than a toddler on a trampoline, the whole thing’s starting to unravel. 🙀
Technical indicators are screaming “sell!” like a wine connoisseur at a box wine tasting. If ETH drops below $3,000, it might crash to $2,700-because nothing says “growth” like a 10% nosedive. And don’t even get me started on the “weekly stochastics” throwing a topping pattern tantrum or that wedge formation looking like someone’s disastrous DIY haircut. 💁♀️
Meanwhile, Ethereum’s “treasury posse”-15 companies holding 4.7 million ETH-are still pretending the market’s fine. BitMine’s got 3.3 million ETH on its books, because nothing says “confidence” like hoarding crypto during a crash. SharpLink and Bit Digital are playing catch-up with 859k and 150k ETH respectively-because why not? 🤷♀️
BitMine’s Tom Lee remains blissfully oblivious, still predicting ETH will hit $10,000 this year. “Solid base since 2021,” he says. Meanwhile, the rest of us are Googling “how to survive a market crash.” And after the Oct. 10 liquidation event that wiped $19B like it was a bad hair day, even the most bullish investor’s probably questioning their life choices. 🤯
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2025-11-04 21:00