🤑 Meanwhile Bags $82M to Make Death Profitable in Bitcoin! 💀✨

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🚨 BREAKING: Meanwhile, the wacky wizards of Bitcoin life insurance, just snagged $82 million in a funding round led by big-shot investors! 🤑 Why? Because who doesn’t want to hedge their bets on the afterlife with crypto? 💀✨

Bitcoin Life Insurer Meanwhile Grabs $82M from Apollo, Bain, and Pantera – Because Death is Tax-Free! 💸💀

Meanwhile, the Bitcoin-loving life insurance provider based in Bermuda (where the pirates hide their crypto treasure 🌴⚔️), just scored $82 million from a gang of heavy-hitters like Apollo, Northwestern Mutual, Pantera Capital, Stillmark, Bain Capital, and Haun Ventures. Talk about a graveyard smash! 💼💰

This funding is a big deal for these crypto cowboys, who launched their life insurance products in 2023 as the first insurer to say, “Fiat? Never heard of her!” 💸✋ Just six months after their $40 million Series A round (led by OpenAI’s Sam Altman, the AI übermensch 🤖), they’re now sitting on a cool $120 million. Not bad for a company that’s basically betting on your mortality! 😂

Meanwhile’s policies are 100% Bitcoin-denominated, which means you can die rich and tax-free! 🎉 After two years, policyholders can borrow up to 90% of their Bitcoin policy value without Uncle Sam knocking. And the borrowed BTC gets a new cost basis, so you can sell later without triggering capital gains taxes. It’s like a tax loophole with a side of immortality! 🧛‍♂️💼

So, how do they make money? By lending your Bitcoin to big, regulated financial institutions. CEO Zac Townsend brags that Meanwhile is now “one of the largest long-term Bitcoin lenders in the world.” Move over, banks – the undertakers are in town! 🏦💀

“This is an institutional year for Bitcoin. Our products are so well-regulated, even the Grim Reaper would approve! ☠️ We’re working with life insurers, retirement companies, and institutions to bring Bitcoin-denominated products to the masses. Because why settle for fiat when you can die in style?” – Zac Townsend, probably while wearing a top hat and monocle. 🧐

With the new funding, Meanwhile plans to expand its team and meet the surging demand for Bitcoin-based insurance products. Bain Capital’s Stefan Cohen chimed in, “As Bitcoin becomes a real asset class, financial products like life insurance will be expressed in Bitcoin, not fiat. It’s the future, baby! 🚀✨”

So, if you’re ready to make your death as profitable as your life, Meanwhile’s got you covered. Just remember: in Bitcoin we trust, but in death, we hodl! 💀🚀

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2025-10-07 21:43