Bitcoin’s Moving Average Tango: A Tragi-Comedy 🐂💃

by

Key points:

  • Bitcoin confronts three ancient relics of chart analysis-the moving averages-after a fleeting rally.

  • The monthly and quarterly closes loom like existential ghosts, demanding ritualistic candlestick sacrifices.

  • Volatility? Oh, there’s enough chaos this week to make a Fed chairman weep into his spreadsheet 📉.

Bitcoin (BTC), that temperamental diva of decentralized finance, now pirouettes precariously between three moving averages, as if auditioning for a role in a financial Taming of the Shrew.

Keith Alan, co-founder of Material Indicators (a name that sounds like a Soviet-era factory), urges traders to watch daily closes with the intensity of a playwright proofreading a suicide note.

Three ghosts haunt the bulls

Bitcoin’s recent bounce from $109,000-a number as round as a ruble-has bulls sweating like a sinner in a Chekhov confession scene.

“Observe the 21-day, 50-day, and 100-day SMAs,” whispers Alan, as if revealing the location of a buried treasure or a particularly juicy bribe. “They’re all tangled like a matryoshka doll dropped down a well.”

Currently, BTC teeters: above the 50SMA but below its more demanding siblings. Monday’s close? A fleeting tryst above all three, like a hurried kiss at a revolutionary’s funeral.

“It’s not how you start,” Alan intones, channeling Tolstoy’s ghost, “but how you finish. Preferably without a guillotine.”

The monthly close: A farce of volatility

With BTC/USD in suspense, the week’s catalysts arrive like clowns juggling chainsaws.

  • U.S. jobs data: Because nothing says “blockchain magic” like 19th-century labor statistics 🤹♂️.

  • Potential government shutdown: The fiscal equivalent of a Tsarist coup.

  • Quarterly candle closes: Because if markets aren’t poetic enough, add horoscopes.

“A daily close above the 21SMA?” Alan muses. “Strength! Provided it survives the monthly open. Trust no candle; they’re all liars.”

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2025-09-30 13:27