El Salvador’s Bitcoin Bonanza: $700M & IMF Tears 😂

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The digital gold rush of El Salvador swelled past $700 million, as the nation toasted its fourth Bitcoin Day with the solemnity of a drunk uncle at a wedding. 🥂

  • 21 fresh BTC-because symbolism is cheaper than therapy.
  • 6,313.18 BTC total-enough to make the IMF clutch its pearls.
  • Critics? Oh, they’re still here, muttering about “volatility” like it’s a bad horoscope.

The Bitcoin Office, that bureaucratic temple of crypto fervor, confirmed the haul-though skeptics whisper it’s just moving coins between couch cushions. 🤷‍♂️

Buying 21 bitcoin for Bitcoin Day.

– Nayib Bukele (@nayibbukele) September 7, 2025

At current prices, El Salvador’s stash could buy approximately 700 million IMF frowns-or one very lavish meme. 💸

The 21 BTC splurge broke the usual “1 BTC a day” diet, proving even austerity has cheat days. 🍰

Four Years of Defying Gravity (and the IMF)

Since 2021, when President Bukele turned El Salvador into Bitcoin’s guinea pig, economists have warned of doom, gloom, and other fun party poopers. Yet here we are-still standing, still hodling. 🚀

The IMF, ever the joyless chaperone, forced El Salvador to pinky-swear it’d behave-no more public buys, no more mandatory Bitcoin acceptance, and Chivo wallets got the axe. But like a teenager sneaking out the window, the Bitcoin Office kept “acquiring” on social media. 📱

Bitcoin: Still the Nation’s Problem Child

Undeterred, El Salvador now boasts 80,000 Bitcoin-certified bureaucrats-because nothing says “financial revolution” like government paperwork. 📝

A new law even lets investment banks play with Bitcoin (under supervision, of course-can’t have too much fun). Meanwhile, countries like Pakistan and Bolivia eye El Salvador like it’s the cool kid with a questionable tattoo. 🌎

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2025-09-08 09:34