TL;DR (Too Lazy to Read? Here’s the Scoop!)
- 200 MILLION Dogecoins vanished like socks in a laundry 🧦🐶-price still stuck at $0.21? Suspicious!
- ADA whales flushed 50 million coins down the toilet 🚽🪙 while Cardano pretends it’s “consolidating.”
- Charts scream “SELL!” but hodlers still humming *Happy Coincidences* 🎶📉.
- ETF rumors swirl like toilet paper in the wind 📄🌀. No one’s stopping the circus!
DOGE Whales Host a Fire Sale (Spoiler: It’s Not a Clearance Event)
Over 48 hours, crypto’s sly sea squirrels 🐋 decided to unload 200 million DOGE-enough to buy a small island or 400,000,000 tacos 🌮. Ali Martinez, the crypto detective 🕵️♂️, caught these whales red-handed:
“Whales sold 200M Dogeoin $DOGE in 48 hours! Next they’ll sell sand to a beach.”
– Ali (@ali_charts) September 4, 2025 🕰️
DOGE still clings to $0.21 like a toddler to a melted popsicle 🍭💸. Down 1% today and 4% this week, but hey-it’s not technically bankrupt yet! Analysts whisper about “lower highs” and “pressure,” which sounds like a yoga class gone wrong 🧘♂️📉.
Remember July? Whales quietly sneaked out while hodlers napped. Classic bait-and-switch! 🎣 Now the charts look like a sad trombone song 🎺: lower highs, whale diets, and $0.19 support sweating bullets. Resistance? A measly $0.222-barely enough to buy a crypto hoodie.
Trader Tardigrade (yes, named after the indestructible moss piglet) claims the Ichimoku chart’s “bearish cross” is dumber than a bag of wet cats. 🐱💦 The asset’s stuck in a cloud (not the fluffy kind) and no one’s brave enough to bet. Meanwhile, Bloomberg’s Balchunas claims Rex is cooking a DOGE ETF. Because what the world needs is more “E”-shaped products. 🥣
ADA Whales Flush 50M Coins (Cardano’s Plumbing Problems)
While Doge drama unfolded, Cardano’s whales chucked 50 million ADA into the void 🕳️🐋. Ali Martinez again spotted the culprits:
“50M Cardano $ADA sold by whales! Next they’ll sell ice to a penguin.”
– Ali (@ali_charts) September 5, 2025 🕰️
ADA trades at $0.82, down 4% but still pricier than a pumpkin spice latte 🎃☕. August was a joyride-until whales tapped the brakes and hodlers realized they’d been riding a pogo stick 🥁. Now ADA’s stuck in a “descending wedge” (fancy term for “price limbo”) and testing $0.80 like it’s a math exam. 📊
“Cardano might dip to $0.80 before attempting a moonshot,” said Ali, who’s clearly got a telescope 📉🔭.
A breakout above $0.835 could rocket ADA to $0.90-assuming whales don’t throw a wrench 🛠️ in the gears. Meanwhile, Grayscale’s ADA ETF is stuck in SEC purgatory until October 26. Spoiler: The SEC loves drama more than a Netflix soap opera. 📺
CryptoPotato reports ADA’s ETF could join Bitcoin and Ethereum’s exclusive club. Because nothing says “financial revolution” like adding another crypto to the mix. 🎉
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2025-09-05 10:48