Metaplanet Goes Full Bitcoin Maniac: Stock Soars, Sarcasm Ensues 🚀

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Ah, Metaplanet. The Tokyo-based firm that’s decided Bitcoin isn’t just a trend-it’s a lifestyle. After receiving thunderous applause (and presumably some awkward golf claps) from its shareholders, the company is now restructuring faster than you can say “blockchain.” And yes, they’re stacking BTC like it’s pancakes on a Sunday morning. 🥞

But wait, there’s more! On September 1, Metaplanet held an Extra Ordinary General Meeting-a gathering so extraordinary, even the coffee machine was impressed. Let’s dive into what these mad geniuses have cooked up.

Shareholders Approve Changes That Make Your Head Spin

Picture this: a room full of people in suits nodding vigorously as proposals fly across the table like confetti at a New Year’s Eve party. Shareholders approved not one, not two, but THREE key amendments. First, they’ve increased the maximum number of authorized shares to over 2.7 billion. Why? Because apparently, raising billions of yen is easier when you have enough paper to wallpaper a castle. 🏰

Proposal 1: Increase in Authorized Shares (to 2,723,000,000 shares)
Proposal 2: Shareholders’ Meetings Without a Fixed Location (Virtual-only meetings enabled)
Proposal 3: Establishment of Authorized Class Shares (Class A & Class B Shares)

– Metaplanet Inc. (@Metaplanet_JP) September 2, 2025

Oh, and let’s not forget the pièce de résistance: virtual-only shareholder meetings. No need for stuffy conference rooms or stale bagels anymore. Just log in from your couch, sip your chai latte, and vote away. Finally, they introduced Class A and Class B shares because why stop at simplicity when you can add layers of complexity instead?

Unsurprisingly, investors were thrilled-or at least pretended to be. The stock jumped 2.5% to 853 yen, proving once again that optimism sells better than realism.

Raising Billions Like It’s Pocket Change

If you thought things couldn’t get crazier, buckle up. On August 1, Metaplanet unveiled plans to raise a jaw-dropping 555 billion yen ($3.7 billion). Their goal? To buy 210,000 BTC by 2027. Yes, you read that right. Two hundred ten thousand Bitcoins. Someone call Elon Musk; he might want tips on how to spend all that money. 💸

And here’s the kicker-they’re issuing Bitcoin-backed preferred shares. Groundbreaking? Maybe. Pioneering? Definitely. A little risky? Absolutely. But hey, who needs caution when you’re rewriting financial history?

Bitcoin Stash Growing Faster Than Cat Videos on YouTube

Speaking of buying Bitcoin, Metaplanet has been busy. They recently added to their stash, bringing the total to 20,000 BTC-worth approximately $2.05 billion. That puts them in sixth place globally among public treasury holders, surpassing Riot Platforms while trailing behind giants like MicroStrategy, which hoards BTC like squirrels hoard nuts. 🐿️

And oh, the stock performance? Up 700% in the past year. Not bad for a company whose strategy seems equal parts brilliance and lunacy. Oh, and did we mention Eric Trump joined as an advisor? Because nothing screams “crypto credibility” like having a former reality TV star on board. 😎

Global Ambitions: Selling Shares Like Hotcakes

But why stop at domestic markets? Metaplanet announced plans to raise another 130 billion yen ($880 million) internationally-and guess where almost all of it will go? You guessed it: Bitcoin. Within two months, no less. This company doesn’t do anything halfway, does it?

Will this Bitcoin-first strategy continue to pay off? Or will it implode like a soufflé in a wind tunnel? Only time will tell. Until then, grab your popcorn and enjoy the show. 🍿

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2025-09-02 14:13