Bitcoin Plunges to Oblivion-Saylor Smiles Through the Chaos 😎🚀

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Ah, Michael Saylor! Just as the wind howls through the frozen steppe and lamp posts sway under melancholic gloom, he sallies forth to issue grand pronouncements about the future. What a day to do it! The air reeked of scorched margin calls, Bitcoin writhed like a fevered poet, groaning as its backswept hair was shorn by trembling hands of leveraged traders. Amidst this splendid carnage, Saylor, chair of Strategy (a title as sumptuous as an overstuffed samovar), chooses to unfurl his banner: behold, a city in ruins, drenched in radioactive orange, captioned with a phrase both cryptic and audacious-“The Future is Orange.” One wonders if carrot merchants sponsored his vision.

Meanwhile, the market reeled like Gogol’s Akaky after losing his precious overcoat. Positions worth $410 million evaporated overnight, yet most of the casualties were hopeless romantics with bullish dreams-$350 million of their bets simply erased, like bureaucratic paperwork after a fire drill. Bitcoin itself plummeted to $109,000, a number with all the charm of an unwashed ruble.

As if by cosmic joke, within four short hours before this tragic ballet, another $200 million joined the liquidation waltz. It was a crowded affair-everyone wanted their moment, no one got their souvenir.

The Future is Orange

– Michael Saylor (@saylor) August 29, 2025

Derivatives data, that reliable friend of insomniac accountants, confirmed the drama: open interest slumped to a pitiful $80 billion, while the optimists (presumably wearing orange-tinted glasses) clung to their long positions like a dog with last year’s bone. Yet even that-a brief flicker of hope-was dashed when open interest shriveled by over 20%. Markets, it seems, can overindulge on euphoria and then hit the wall face-first, rattling the teeth of every newly-minted trader.

Saylor not bothered

Does Michael Saylor care? Pfff, as much as a Russian official cares for paperwork lost in the river. Strategy, his fortress of conviction, sits atop a pile of 200,000 BTC-enough orange coins to tile the roof of St. Basil’s Cathedral. The man’s Twitter feed, stoic as a bureaucrat sipping tea, never wavers; storms may come, charts may dance barefoot in the snow, but Saylor’s digital faith holds fast.

In the image (a solitary hero, striding through orange mists toward what might be a spaceship or merely a very avant-garde taxi), one reads a message: markets flutter, fortune spins its wheel-but conviction is the only overcoat that never wears thin. Whether this is lunacy or legendary resolve, well, even Gogol wouldn’t dare to guess. Bitcoin skates on $109,000, liquidation risk crackling like vodka on a cold morning, while Saylor looks ahead: eyes fixed on the orange horizon, undeterred by the ruckus, ready for tomorrow (or at least another tweet).

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2025-08-29 14:38