The SEC Wants to Hear From You (No, Really, We’re Serious)

In a move that felt less like a regulatory outreach and more like a traveling magic show that had lost its rabbit, the SEC’s Crypto Task Force announced it would be taking its act on the road. Led by Commissioner Hester Peirce, a woman whose official title might as well be “The Only One Who Seems to Know the Internet Exists,” the roadshow is set to land in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Next Road Roundtable Discussion in Arizona

The stated goal is to “hear from those who couldn’t attend,” which is government-speak for “We held the last meeting in a D.C. basement during a monsoon and are shocked-shocked!-that no one showed up.” They are now providing what they call a “valuable opportunity,” which is the same term I use for my husband when I ask him to clean the gutters.

Peirce took to X, a platform now primarily inhabited by bots and people arguing about Star Wars, to extend a personal invitation. “We welcome small, early-stage crypto projects,” she wrote, which is a bit like a zookeeper saying, “We welcome small, confused rodents.” The instructions were simple: email Crypto@sec.gov with “Arizona” in the subject line. I imagine the inbox looks less like a government agency and more like a digital dumpster fire, filled with proposals for DogeCoin 2: Electric Boogaloo and NFTs of a man’s knee.

The Commission is specifically hunting for the little guys, the mom-and-pop crypto shops with “10 or fewer employees.” I picture a frantic team of eleven, immediately firing their intern in a parking lot to meet the cutoff. “Sorry, Kevin. The SEC giveth, and the SEC taketh away.”

Crypto Task Force on the Road Schedule

August 4: Berkeley, Calif. 🧘‍♀️

August 19: Boston 🦞

September 4: Dallas 🤠

September 15: Chicago 🍕

September 25: New York City 🗽

October 2: Los Angeles 🚗

October 24: Cleveland 🏈

October 29: Scottsdale, Ariz. 🌵

November 12: New York City (again, because the first time was just so uplifting) 🗽

December 5: Ann Arbor, Mich ❄️

Expanding Efforts to Innovate Crypto Space?

By venturing into “local hubs,” the Commission is expanding its perspective, which had previously been limited to the view from a D.C. window and the frantic scribblings of a lobbyist from a firm called “Money Talks, LLC.” They claim to want “real-world experience” before creating any proposals. This is a novel concept in governance, like a chef actually tasting the food before serving it to the entire country.

“We want to hear from people who… may not have had a voice,” Peirce stated, with the earnestness of a person who has just discovered that Americans exist outside the Beltway. She added that the Task Force is “acutely aware that any regulatory framework will have far-reaching effects.” This awareness is presumably what separates them from the rest of the government, which operates on a philosophy of “fire, ready, aim.” One can only hope they find what they’re looking for in Scottsdale, between rounds of golf and searching for a decent artisanal scone. 🥯

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2025-08-26 16:00