According to CoinStats, Bulls appear to be losing their sense of direction, their GPS, and possibly their keys somewhere near the threshold of the weekend. Nobody knows why weekends make investors act like teenagers let loose at an all-you-can-eat buffet, but here we are. 🤷♂️

SHIB/USD
In a dazzling display of statistical excitement, SHIB has meandered upwards by approximately 0.12% in the past day-a movement so pulse-quickening, it could register as a polite cough in the financial universe. 🐾

The hourly chart is currently auditioning for the role of “Bearish,” which means the rate is falling faster than the enthusiasm at a Vogon poetry reading. After a rather theatrical false breakout at $0.00001303 (which fooled precisely no one except possibly an inattentive raccoon), there’s a strong chance we’ll all be packing our bags for the $0.00001270 district, where the souvenirs are mostly regret.

As for the grand panoramic, big-picture view, the SHIB rate is neatly sliced and plonked in the middle of a channel so wide, even Zaphod Beeblebrox would need a second head to comprehend it. Picture it oscillating indecisively between the support at $0.00001173 and resistance at $0.00001428-neither side able to convince the other that action is worthwhile. The market is, essentially, on a very prolonged lunch break. 🍵
Given that nobody is steering the ship (and the autopilot quit last Tuesday), expect sideways trading: a thrilling activity reminiscent of watching paint negotiate with a wall.

Zooming out to the midterm scenario, the volume is dropping off like an uninvited third cousin, meaning the chance of SHIB doing something dramatic before month’s end is about as likely as a dolphin running for Parliament. No fireworks are expected, unless someone brings their own.
At press time, SHIB is politely loitering at $0.00001290, probably trying to remember why it walked into the room in the first place.
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2025-08-16 18:31