😱 SEC Squeezes Solana ETF Nerves Until Halloween-Traders Freak! 😱

by

The venerable American bureaucratic sphinx, whose name none dare pronounce without kneeling to the acronym “SEC,” once again wrapped its federal blanket tighter around its knees, yawned magnificently, and swatted the Solana ETF plea into mid-October. 🥱

Thus reads the parchment delivered by barefoot interns on burning asphalt:
“The Exchange Commission didn’t feel like deciding, so, kind folks, wait until the ides of October, the 16th to be precise, while investors mutter incantations and candle the charts.”

Of course the language is the same-same head-nodding sophistry, same phantom worries of “is it a security, a commodity, or simply a ghost in the blockchain?” as if centuries haven’t passed since Dr. Faust signed anything resembling fine print. 🤷‍♂️

Behind the Velvet Curtain of the Extension

The venerable trio-Bitwise, 21Shares, and that perpetually chirpy Canary-knocked, requested, pleaded.
But the gatekeeper merely stamped “+60 days” and retreated to shuffle papers scented with law-school dust and lukewarm coffee.
Behold the anonymous wizard Seyffart, tweeting like a raven:

“NEW: Two delay orders on the S-O-L filings. Methinks we won’t witness a third encore.”

– James Seyffart (@JSeyff)

The Commission’s deeper concern is not price but classification-a koan for philosophic regulators: “Is Solana broccoli, beef, or possibly transcendental fog?” 🤔

The Staking ETF Lives-Thrives-Leaps About Like a Well-Fed Goat

While the spot ETF tarries at the border, little SSK-REX Shares’ Solana Staking ETF- gambols ahead, $13 million on Tuesday, $66 million shouting matches on Wednesday, $150 million piled by Friday.

Analysts declare: “Astounding! Yet alas, SOL itself slipped 6% to $191, proving once again that the market has jokes even satire can’t top.” 😂

The Whys and Wherefores-Or Bureaucratic Feng Shui

  • Manipulitis worrimentia-a legal disease where any whale may (gasp!) wave its tail.
  • Surveillance stubs-tiny treaties with exchanges named like video-game dragons.
  • Decentralisation doubt-because five validators having brunch together may count as quorum.
  • Maturity-blockchains, like port wine, must be 40 years old, unless garnished with SEC-approved olives.

Shawn Young-an oracle formerly tethered to MEXC Research-pronounced sagely:
“Regulation and innovation must waltz cheek-to-cheek in a ballroom monitored by security cameras.”
He then vanished in a puff of footnotes.

October 16-An Execution, or a Parade?

Cabs idle, palms sweat, charts sag. October 16 is circled in red, green, and the occasional phosphorescent highlighter.
Will the sphinx finally push open the door, revealing mere threads of light-or demand more paperwork, hand-wringing, and Gogolian queues?

1⃣ Bitwise SOL ETF
2⃣ 21Shares Core Solana ETF
New suspense date: Oct 16, 2025 ⌛
Regulators stall; traders levitate-balloons of hope and/or dread attached.

– Satoshi Talks (@Satoshi_Talks)

Let it be known: thirteen more Mondays still stand between now and decision day, each ruled either by bulls, bears, or-knowing the SEC-sloths with spectacles. 🦥

Thus ended today’s aerial telegram from the phantom post office of crypto, signed in disappearing ink by-

Yours reluctantly,
The Notary of Marginalia

Read More

2025-08-15 23:23