Crypto Chaos: What Will Make Bitcoin Dance This Week? 💃📈

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Ah, the grand circus of crypto and stock markets! They prance and pirouette, defying the ominous clouds of tariff uncertainty that loom like a disgruntled ex-lover. One might say the rally is akin to a cat on a hot tin roof, fueled by whispers of economic softness and the tantalizing prospect of a rate cut in September. Who knew that uncertainty could be so exhilarating? 🎢

Yet, dear reader, do not be fooled by this dazzling display! Analysts, those ever-optimistic seers, predict a bumpy road ahead, with trade disputes and geopolitical shenanigans casting shadows darker than a Moscow winter night. 🌑

This week, the spotlight shines on inflation data and consumer sentiment reports, which could sway the Federal Reserve like a puppet on strings. Will they dance to the tune of the CPI? Only time will tell!

Economic Events August 11 to 15

On Tuesday, we shall witness the unveiling of July’s Consumer Price Index (CPI) report, that sacred scroll of economic wisdom, excluding food and energy-because who needs to eat or stay warm, right? It’s expected to show a firm grip at 2.8%, up from 2.7%. A round of applause, please! 👏

Then, on Thursday, the Producer Price Index (PPI) report will grace us with its presence, revealing the secrets of input costs for producers. Will it be a harbinger of doom or a beacon of hope? Only the market gods know!

Friday brings the grand finale with July’s retail sales data, showcasing how much consumers are splurging on both durable and non-durable goods. Will they be buying gold-plated toasters or just plain old bread? 🍞

And let us not forget the consumer sentiment and inflation expectations readings, which will summarize the collective sighs and cheers of the American populace. Will they be optimistic or merely resigned? 🤷‍♂️

Key Events This Week:

1. OPEC Monthly Report – Tuesday

2. July CPI Inflation data – Tuesday

3. July PPI Inflation data – Thursday

4. July Retail Sales data – Friday

5. MI Consumer Sentiment data – Friday

6. Total of 5 Fed speaker events

It’s a big week for inflation data, folks!

– The Kobeissi Letter (@KobeissiLetter) August 10, 2025

As we stand on the precipice of September, the probability of a rate cut hovers at a staggering 88%, according to the oracle known as the CME futures Fed Watch tool. 🧙‍♂️

Meanwhile, earnings season is drawing to a close, and all eyes are now fixated on Nvidia, which is set to report on August 27. Will it be a triumph or a tragedy? 🎭

Crypto Market Outlook

Ah, the weekend momentum! It spilled over into Monday morning in Asia like a fine wine at a raucous banquet, pushing total market capitalization up 2% to an astonishing $4.13 trillion. 🍷

Bitcoin, that elusive creature, leaped more than 3% early on Monday, reaching a four-week high of $121,850. It’s now tantalizingly close to its all-time high, as if it were a cat eyeing a particularly juicy mouse. 🐱

Ethereum, not to be outdone, surged to an almost four-year high of $4,320. Just 11.5% away from its 2021 all-time high, it’s practically frolicking in the fields of prosperity!

Alas, the rest of the altcoins seem to be taking a leisurely stroll, with only Hyperliquid and Chainlink adding a sprightly 4% to their day. Perhaps they’re waiting for the right moment to join the dance? 💃

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2025-08-11 08:37