So, apparently, the crypto world decided to throw a tantrum this week, tumbling faster than a toddler on a sugar rush. Stocks joined the party too—because why should only digital coins get to be dramatic? All thanks to President Trump’s tariffs and some weak jobs report that had risk markets crying in their cornflakes. 🍿
Bitcoin (BTC)—that thing we pretend to understand—slid from its all-time high of $123,200 (because who doesn’t love an all-time high?) down to a measly $112,000. Meanwhile, the total market cap went from a staggering $4 trillion to a slightly less staggering $3.3 trillion. Ah, the sweet smell of volatility! 💸
- Pi Network is basically the financial equivalent of that friend who just crashed your party—crashing to a record low.
- Flare Network is about to “unlock” millions of tokens, so sit tight or buy snacks, maybe both.
- Cardano is about to make a grand unveiling at the Rare Evo event, and everyone is holding their breath—or their crypto wallets.
Investor mood? ThinkRiskOff, with a dash of “Let’s hit the panic button,” thanks to tariffs and some weak payroll numbers. Even Microsoft and Meta, the golden children of tech, are doing their best impression of stable, boring companies. But eye on the prize: Pi Network (PI), Cardano (ADA), and Flare (FLR)—the week’s hottest circus acts.
Pi Network
Pi is pleading for attention after taking a nosedive below the support at $0.4016, hitting a record low. Over 87% down from this year’s high—ouch! It also just yanked that double-bottom pattern, which normally screams “bullish breakout,” but right now, it’s more like a “please don’t hurt me” signal.
Could this be a fakeout? Like when your dog acts sick just to get more treats? Maybe. A quick reversal could be happening—brace yourself for a wild ride.
Flare
Flare’s rollercoaster ride started at $0.0279 and ended up at $0.0215 this past Saturday. But the real drama? The network is unlocking over $44.1 million worth of tokens—about 2.85% of its total supply. Yeah, sounds about as fun as giving away free candy—or does it? 🍭
Good news: in the midst of this unlock chaos, a doji candlestick pattern has formed, hinting at a potential price rebound. Basically, it’s the crypto version of “hold my beer.”
Cardano
Cardano is the star of the show, thanks to its upcoming Rare Evo event in Vegas—because what happens in Vegas stays in your crypto wallet. Key speakers include Charles Hoskinson and Tamara Haasen, who will probably reveal all the secrets, or at least some vague hints.
The big news? The Glacier airdrop, where over 33 million crypto addresses will get new NIGHT tokens. Half of these are reserved for Cardano, and the rest are up for grabs among Bitcoin, Ethereum, and friends. Expect a price bounce promising enough to make your grandma invest (or run for the hills). 🏃♂️
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2025-08-03 19:17